2012 Nationals Player Profile: Jhonatan Solano

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No, not Jonathan Solano (above).

As the player profiles have continued over the course of spring training, I know everyone has been waiting to read the profile of Jonathan Solano.

Well this won’t be it, but will instead focus on the strangely named Jhonatan Solano, who continues a long line of misnamed Jonathans in baseball.

Ok, so maybe it’s not a long line, but it does include both Solano and all star shortstop Jhonny Peralta. Both of these men’s parents got together and thought, what a great idea it would be to shift that h over, and make life difficult. And so they did. And life was difficult.

For his entire life, that shifted h has caused Jhonatan Solano to be denied countless typing-filled jobs on the grounds of assumed dyslexia. Doctors have given him poor marks on eye tests, thinking that if he can’t see where the h goes in his name, then he probably can’t see a thing. Casual acquaintances have gotten fed up not being able to call him Jhon, since Jhon is a stupid thing to call someone. Solano’s life has been that of a miserable person.

Until now. Now Solano finds himself in a league where Jhonnys have been accepted and praised, despite very very borderline offensive capabilities. Solano can finally find love in a place he never imagined: Major League Baseball.

Fans can call him J-Honey, a nice nickname for a player that will surely come to be as sweet as the word included in it. Opposing teams won’t play shifts against him even if he develops as a pull hitter, afraid to do so thinking that Solano is so used to the pointless shift (of an h to the left of his name) that he’d adapt to the pointless shift (of an infield to the left of the field). Solano is set for success.

Until he retires or doesn’t make it. Then he’s screwed.

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