Marlins Mar Grins: Mike Stants Tall as Nats Do Fall

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Celebrating is a very somber time for the Nationals. (AP Photo/Joel Auerbach)

Final Score: Marlins 5, Nationals 3.

Dame of the Game:

Jordan Zimmermann, The Hitter: 1-2, 1 R, 1 HR, 1 RBI. Jordan Zimmermann is sick and tired of throwing 7 IP, allowing 1 ER, and not winning the game. He decided to take things into his own hands and power one out of the park.

Shame of the Game:

Jordan Zimmermann, The Pitcher: Loss, 6 IP, 8 H, 4 ER, 4 K. Sadly, it seems he is so sick of throwing 7 IP, allowing 1 ER, and not winning the game, that Zimm has decided to stop even coming close. It’s been three starts since his 4th 7IP/1ER outing of his season, and he doesn’t seem to be going back. His outlook on the game changed. If he couldn’t get support pitching so fantastically, maybe he could get support pitching dreadfully. I worry he’s going to be less like his rotation partners, and more like Jose Lima. He’ll begin to say “It’s Zima Time,” upsetting people greatly by not only letting them know a lot of runs are about to be given up, but also reminding them that Zima existed.

———-

Miami is all about clubbing. It has one of the best nightlife scenes around, and also one of the biggest men who clubs the furthest home runs anyone ever sees. Giancarlo Stanton is someone everybody wants on their team, and every day that passes that someone doesn’t have him they cry and cry. This has been how great baseball players have been measured throughout history. The better a player, the more tears shed by the entirety of MLB’s fans. There are exceptions however. When you see people crying about Tom Gorzelanny, they simply are weeping for that gene pool.

Stanton and Morrison powered the Marlins to victory today, coupled with a relatively successful pitching performance by Carlos Zambrano. As much as I hate to say it, he truly was the victor, Zambrano today. Now I wouldn’t be surprised if he was traded to the Mets for young pitching talent, subsequently causing years of anger, confusion, and people saying “I’m surprised it took this long for the Mets to fuck something up.”

As for the Nationals, today was pretty much a “I expected that, but am not happy” type of day for a lot of players. Despinosa went 0-8 with 4 K, H-Rod allowed another run, and Rotwiler left a stain in the new visitor’s clubhouse. The one player who broke from this trend of expectable yet depressing events was Carlos Maldonado. Maldonado started his first game since Flores’ minor injury and went 0-4. YES! YES! YES! A catcher actually played in a game long enough to get 4 at bats! MVP! MVP! MVP!

Hopefully tomorrow the Nats can rebound as they take on the Marlins at 7PM. I’m not really sure how many people will see it, I think half of Florida is asleep by then.

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