When Ross Detwiler first came up to the bigs, he was told he needed a nickname. Looking at his name, it’s not hard to come up with Rottweiler. Or rather Rotwiler, by removing “ss De.” Just think of it being spelled by someone with the mental capacity of a first grader or Sean Burnett. EDIT: Sorry for being redundant there.
So ever since Detwiler has been called Rotwiler, he’s developed a more fierce attitude on the mound, intimidating opponents with his “bite.” However he has also developed multiple habits that all point towards him thinking he is actually a dog. Below is a list of incidents since Detwiler has been on the Nationals that have left teammates concerned.
9/7/07: Rotwiler’s debut. After game, pees on carpet in locker room. Matt Chico yells at him and rubs Detwiler’s face in it, causing Detwiler to cower in the corner for a bit, and be sent down not long after.
5/28/09: Rotwiler is found sniffing the rear ends of multiple Nationals players and coaches, including a confused yet intrigued Marquis Grissom.
9/9/09: No Nationals pitcher can warm up in the bullpen since Detwiler keeps chasing the only ball they’re trying to throw with. This was after he chewed up and slobbered on every ball that Randy Knorr had out there.
2/18/10: Taken to the doctor for hip surgery, barks and freaks out the entire ride.
7/29/11: Only throws pitches if Pudge Rodriguez comes out and gives him a treat during mound meetings.
8/15/11: Attempts to have sex with a dog.
It is these events that are making many in Natstown concerned about Rotwiler. Hopefully he realizes that he is a pitcher and not a dog, for everyone’s sake but Marquis Grissom’s.