Thirty-Second Spring Training Game: Washington Nationals vs. Boston Hangovers (From All the Beer Last September)


OH GOD GET IT AWAY

The Nationals Raft is close to finishing its long journey down Spring Training River, after which it will careen straight over Opening Day Falls into Regular Season Lake, where it’ll float around for a few months and hope that it gets sucked down into Playoffs Whirlpool and and finally reach its watery tomb at the bottom of World Series Champions Sinkhole at the center of the earth. Sadly by that point all the Nationals will have drowned, but at least they’ll go out on top. At the bottom. Whatever.

Today the Raft hit a gnarled root in the shape of Vicente Padilla’s ugly face on it, as the Nats lost to the Red Sox 4-2 and Vicente Padilla is apparently on the Red Sox. Ew. The Battle for the Last Spot on the Nationals Roster, which will surely be long-commemorated in the annals of future histories, took a dramatic twist, as Chad Durbin gave up a run on two hits but struck out two. Will that run be the death knell of his roster-making dreams? Fans of things that aren’t really boring everywhere hope so. Otherwise everyone better get ready for a lot of Dur

bin.

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