We Made Them Get The Belt: Padres Beat Young Nats Team

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Jason Bartlett has seen things you would never believe.
(AP Photo/Lenny Ignelzi)

Final Score: Padres 2, Nationals 1.

Dame of the Game:

Edwin Jackson: 6.2 IP, 6 H, 3 BB, 6 K, 0 R. If there’s one thing Edwin Jackson likes doing, it’s pitching very very well. If there’s two things Edwin Jackson likes doing, it’s pitching very very well and stealing his teammates’ shoes. Thank goodness he was having such a fun time with the first one, the second one just turns out to be very inconvenient when it happens.

Shame of the Game:

Tyler Clippard: Loss, Blown Save, 1 IP, 2 H, 2 BB, 2 ER, 2 K. The Ty-Clip has come undone, as the Nationals looked quite messy. I do not expect that we will get a second interview based on our appearance, despite the impressive resume.

Another day, another Nationals victory. End of post.

Huh?

Wuh?

Ga-huh?

We lost? I guess I had just forgotten that was possible, having not done it for a week. Being a first place team really gets to your head… Should I return these Nationals 2012 World Champions banners? Oh, shucks. I guess I should get this championship tattoo removed too, huh? I never ever thought it could end so hilariously horribly. Well, I guess losses just come with playing baseball. Part of the game.

…What do you mean we lost to the Padres?

The Nationals could only manage one run tonight, which is more than they used to be able to manage as evidenced by Livan Hernandez’s waist. However one run was not enough, as Tyler Clippard vs. Mark Kotsay II did not go so well. In the first matchup of these titans on Tuesday, Kotsay popped up. But just like Rocky, Mark came back from defeat to win the second time round, with a 2-run, game-winning double. I don’t know who Kotsay will face in such an important battle next time, but I expect to see Ivan Dochenko vs. Kotsay in the fourth installment.

What is up with Tyler Clippard? 2 Losses on the season and a 6.00 ERA is not the Clippard I knew last year. The Clippard I knew last year had that sparkle in his eye, that passion in his heart, that… Oh it’s so clear. He just can’t keep on without his partner, Drew. This must be awful for him. It’s like Tyler is a housewife whose husband just went off to war and won’t be back for months. Sure he’s tried to make it seem like he’s ok, but really Tyler can’t function the same way anymore. Worrying everyday about if Drew will make it back ok…it must be awful for him and the kids. No, he doesn’t actually have kids. He just made took some cabbage patch kids and put a morphed image of his and Drew’s face on top. It’s really weird… Maybe Drew wanted out and got injured on purpose.

Jayson Werth was the only bit of offense on the day, hitting a home run. Tyler Clippard got to second base once, but that was with his life size cutout of Drew Storen. *Shudders*

The Nationals go to LA to take on the Dodgers tomorrow night at 10PM EST, although apparently in LA it’s pretty common to show up an inning or two late. So assume it’ll start by 10:40.

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