Lidge DFA’d, Mattheus Back


First in hurdle crawling, last in our hearts.

Brad Lidge is no more. Lidge has been DFA’d by the Nationals, which I believe stands for “Don’t Fucking Approach,” a strategy Lidge also used when it came to getting near the strikezone while pitching.

The transaction comes on Father’s Day, leaving Lidge to spend the day with his family, although I’m pretty sure they’re considering DFA’ing him as well. His daughter brought him breakfast in bed, which featured an uncooked egg and some used toilet paper to use as a napkin. “A breakfast as fulfilling as your performance,” she screamed as she hugged her father, not in an effort to show affection but rather to try and injure his internal organs so they could be rid of him.

With Lidge’s departure, Ryan Mattheus returns from the DL. Anything is better than Lidge, so I’m looking forward to Mattheus. In part cause he’s a semi-exciting player, but mostly because looking backward to Mattheus would be tough to do.

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One thought on “Lidge DFA’d, Mattheus Back

  1. […] I’m sure you are all aware, Brad was designated for assignment by the Nationals on Sunday. Assignment to where? Maybe a prison. Maybe a black hole. Maybe a time […]

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