Chipper Jones Out of All-Star Final Vote

Chipper Jones tries to explain away the ground-up human flesh in the garbage. His bat is not convinced.

Whether because he was named as a replacement to the All-Star team for the injured Matt Kemp or because he’s too ashamed to face the scrutiny of voters now that he’s been exposed as a mass-murderer (who can really say), Chipper Jones has dropped out of the NL All-Star Final Vote. This undoubtedly increases the odds of Bryce Harper. He has one less competitor and, in particular, one less competitor who’s likely to kill him and feed his corpse to a woodchipper. So that’s good news all around.

The only man remaining ahead of Harper in the vote is David Freese. So keep voting for Bryce and ‘freese’ David’s vote total right where it is.*

*Note: a vote for Bryce does not necessarily constitute a vote for that pun, which you might not have liked. You probably shouldn’t have liked it if you did.

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