POMeranz Wonderful: Nats Are Bad, Get Colvin in Their Stockings, Bleachers

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There’s nothing that makes a player/lady run in fear like a charging Tom Gorzelanny. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

Final Score: Rockies 5, Nationals 1.

Dame of the Game:

The Nationals Off-Field Staff. To my knowledge, they did everything at this game well enough. Everyone got into the stadium, got their food, etc. A job well done.

Shame of the Game:

The Nationals On-Field Staff. To my knowledge, they did everything at this game bad enough. Rockies balls left the stadium, fans threw up their food in disgust, etc. A job poorly done.

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Tonight was the 5th Rockies-Nationals matchup of the season. You might remember that for the first game these two teams played this season, I recapped it by comparing it to Rocky I. For tonight’s game, I will recap it by comparing it to Rocky V. So here we go.

This game was as good as Rocky V. Rocky V was awful.

What bugs me most about Strasburg starts that the Nationals lose, like tonight’s game, is that his effort is wasted but his innings crawl ever closer to the limit. I hate to send him out there when it’ll just be a waste. It’s a shame that we can’t predict the future for this reason and this reason alone. Maybe the team should invest in a psychic, just in hopes that it works. It could be a waste, but at least bringing a psychic aboard could confuse opponents, maybe causing them to hurt themselves somehow. Think I’m crazy? Just look at Pokemon. I’m sure some people would claim a psychic to be the most ridiculous thing a team could invest in, but let’s not forget that someone is employing Vicente Padilla.

Drew Pomeranz kept the Nationals offense to just 1 hit over 6.1 innings. You’d think someone would be more generous with his stash, especially since we were hosting him, but I guess Drew isn’t a courteous guest. At least let everyone get a hit, otherwise one guy just sits there laughing and eating all the snacks by himself.

Tyler Colvin may have got two home runs tonight, but he also made an error on a catch…which didn’t end up mattering much. Geez Colorado, you should bench this guy before he hurts you anymore. Please, bench him. Please.

The series continues with a late afternoon game on Saturday. Why’s it late, you ask? I don’t know, must have had some incurable illness. RIP Afternoon Game.

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