Jair’s Poor Judgment: Nats Earn Bravos By Beating Them

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Using pine tar for deodorant is something Ryan has done for years. (AP Photo/Cliff Owen)

Final Score: Nationals 9, Braves 2.

Dame of the Game:

Ryan Zimmerman: 3-5, 3 R, 2 HR, 3 RBI. Ryan’s efforts over the past few weeks have been paying the team back nicely for the contract they gave him this winter. Now if only he’d pay them back for lunch. Come on Ryan, show some good manners. It’s not like they have 100 million dollars to use to cover the tab every day.

Shame of the Game:

Jair Jurrjens: Loss, 2.1 IP, 9 H, 6 ER. With 9 hits in such a short time, Jair Jurrjens is looking to be a part of ‘N Sync a little too late.

———-

Everything is okay again. For a while there it wasn’t. Nothing was okay. The world was shattering to pieces around the Nats, and all they could do was pick the shards out of their hair like lice (Tom Gorzelanny was especially good at that, since he has actual lice). The magical year was over, it seemed. It had been a fun time, being in first place so late in July. But a fun time was all it was going to be. The Braves were always going to catch the Nats eventually; it had been foolish to hope otherwise.

But lo! Have faith, ye faithless, for I present to you…(bum babum bum bum bum babum)Roooooss…(BABUM BUM BUM BUM BABUM BUM BUM BUM BABUM) Deeeeetwiiiiiiler!

Ye faithless seem unimpressed. Well, you shouldn’t be. Cause Ross Detwiler was great. And he made everything okay again. Along with John Lannan and Ryan Zimmerman, Detwiler helped drag the Nats from the edge of the cliff. The Nationals know all too well what’s beyond that cliff, in that lightless abyss. That’s the Cellar. The dreaded Basement of the East. There dwell pointy fish, clumsy New Yorkers, and most recently, a furry green monster that just hides in a corner and sobs. It’s not somewhere the Nats want to go back to. For the moment, at least, they don’t have to.

The Nats look to further distance themselves from the dismal downbelows against some of those very same comical New Yorkers tonight. Maybe they’ll even go up some stairs! So long as they watch out for various Mets tumbling down them, that is.

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