Today was a big day, as Jayson Werth made his return from the DL with a wrist injury. It was a stressful time on the DL for Werth, as he couldn’t lower his stress level about not playing since that’s the wrist he uses to masturbate. Now that he’s healthy, we can all expect clogged bases thanks to his high on base, and clogged toilets thanks to his re-discovered passion.
With this move, we say goodbye to a freshly injured Henry Rodriguez. Although this goodbye will be very terse, and without drawn out talks or hugs, because I’m honestly not too troubled to see him go. There’s a saying, “I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away.” The former does not really apply to Henry, but his butt does look really good in baseball pants.