Nats Encounter Terrible Time in Arizona, Odd Because They Aren’t All Hispanic

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John MacDonald has some fun playing soccer. With a bat. He is not bright. (Photo by Norm Hall/Getty Images)

Final Score: Diamondbacks 7, Nationals 4.

Dame of the Game:

Cesar Izturis: 1-1, 1 2B, 2 R. Cesar is now 2-2 with 4 runs as a National. You may ask, why all the runs with so few at bats? And I say, bad pre-game Mexican food.

Shame of the Game:

Kurt Suzuki: 0-4, 1 E. Suzuki turned in another 0-for-4 performance, coupled with his first error as a National. He had committed many errors in Oakland however, including making himself seem valuable in some way to the Nationals.

———-

Ross Detwiler was sick tonight. No, he didn’t have nasty stuff. He was sick. No, he didn’t do something gross like poop in his glove and then use it. He was sick. No, he wasn’t spelled incorrectly and quoted. He was sick. He just didn’t feel well. And that showed on the mound. In more ways than just the mound being covered in sniffles and vomit. For every runner Detwiler allowed, he also gave up an earned run. Which would’ve been fine if he didn’t allow any runners. But he did. So that’s bad.

It was a sad sight to see the National Det doing worse, but by this point I think it’s something Americans are pretty used to. Let’s just hope that Washington doesn’t make the eventual mistake of relying on goods from Asia, like Chien-Ming Wang. That will only make the problem worse. We need to turn the National Det around, and make sure that 5 days from now we see it improve. If not for us, we have to fix it for our children. I mean honestly, children don’t want to root for a losing pitcher. Just look how sad young Mets fans are.

This isn’t to say that the National Det is troubling, it’s been doing pretty well for a while. We just need to make sure the right people are in charge to help guide it towards lowering. Lowering its arm angle that is, I think that can be a lot more deceptive to hitters. When you go into the voting booth this November, I’d say stay away from Obama and Romney, and write-in Steve McCatty. He knows the Det better than anyone right now, and would surely be a help. Although this might cripple America in foreign policy, domestic affairs, social issues, problems in the Middle East, etc. But it’d be great for Ross Detwiler, so do it!

The Nationals can move on from this series and head up to San Francisco. It will certainly be a more challenging contest for the team, but a relief for the members of the bullpen. After being in such a terrible place politically like Arizona, it’s nice for the Nats pen to spend time in a liberal place thats more welcoming to what they do out there to “warm up.”

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