… : …

“I don’t want it. Do you want it?” “Uh, not really.” “…” “…” “One of us should probably get it.” “Yeah…” “…” “…nah” (AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)

Final Score: Marlins 9, Nationals 0

Dame of the Game:


Shame of the Game:

The Washington FUCKING Nationals.



So here we are. August 29th, 2012, and the Nationals are four games ahead in the NL East after losing their fifth straight. Five months ago, I never would have thought that I could be this upset at a four game division lead on August 29, but then I never would have thought that I could accidentally gamble away all my possessions and be forced to make my new home among the Swamp People either, so there you go.

I can’t quite decide which aspect of this game was the most horrible. At first glance, I’m inclined to think “Well duh, it was getting shut out by Ricky Nolasco.” I mean, Ricky Nolasco! Hey, did you now that Ricky Nolasco was once an above-average pitcher? Literally once. Every other year he’s been terrible. This year happens to be the worst year of Ricky Nolasco’s bad career. And the Nats let him pitch nine innings against them, in which they scored an amount of runs that wasn’t even describable as a number before someone in India invented it in the 9th century AD. So now Ricky Nolasco, for probably the first or maybe second time in his life, is happy. Great.

Maybe that wasn’t the worst part, though. Maybe the worst part is that in a game that Stephen Strasburg started, the Nats gave up nine runs. Usually that’s a ratio of about one run per inning, which his AWFUL, except in this game the Nats only pitched eight innings since they lost in the top of the ninth, which makes it REALLY AWFUL. Further augmenting this horror is the fact that Stephen Strasburg only has, at most, about 30 innings left in his season. AND HE WASTED FIVE OF THEM ON THIS SHIT KNISH OF A GAME.

This game really was like seeing a delicious-looking knish lying around on a counter (comparable to seeing you have a game against the Marlins, who suck) and then biting into it and realizing that that delicious flaky dough surrounds not potatoes, not even kasha, but shit.

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2 thoughts on “… : …

  1. […] game was essentially the polar opposite of the last game I wrote about. Everything that was soul-crushing about Tuesday’s game was soul-enhancing about this one. […]

  2. […] are a couple of things that make this game slightly less miserable than the near-identical game from about a week and a half ago. One, Stephen Strasburg wasn’t pitching this time, so we […]

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