Nats Call up Zach Duke and Christian Garcia

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Hopefully Garcia continues to make hitters angry, like when he infuriated Nick Swisher by being so good at video games.

The Duke of Zachs has arrived to rule over Washington. He will rule with an iron fist, which explains why he’s declined as a pitcher. Must be hard to not throw everything into the ground with a hand that heavy.

In addition to adding a Duke, this team just got a little more Christian. No, we didn’t hire a team priest. That would be too dangerous with all the young players on our team. We called up Christian Garcia. Garcia has yet to pitch in the big leagues, despite playing 9 years of professional baseball. I suppose he’s just like a fine wine. Teams have just been waiting for him to reach the perfect age before consumption. Like some experiences with wine, let’s hope he ends up tasting great. As opposed to other experiences with wine that make ourselves regret every decision we made.

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