NLDS Game 3: Badwin Jackson

I stopped off before the game at the Flags and Balloons Convention.

Did the Nats win: Nah.

Was it fun to watch: It was literally the least pleasant experience I’ve ever had watching a baseball game in person.

Visceral Emotion of the Game: A nagging doubt that baseball has ever actually been enjoyable for anyone.

It was a perfect day for baseball. To be sure, many days have been described as “the perfect day for baseball” over the years, and some have definitely been better than others, so I can understand your skepticism over that statement. But I would contend that this day, the first home playoff game of your Washington Nationals, was the one. The best weather that October has to offer, a crowd of Nationals fans abuzz with what I absolutely refuse to refer to as “October Natitude,” and this thing happening:

Ian Desmond’s postseason success has apparently made him much taller, much younger, and much more contemptuous of black people.

The pregame ceremony was similarly superb, with daytime fireworks, Frank “Daytime Fireworks” Robinson, and a fighter jet flyover that only briefly had me worried that the stadium was getting bombed because Jayson Werth is a suspected terrorist.

The Nats walk onto the field on a red carpet. Sean Burnett is disappointed when he doesn’t receive an Oscar for his acting performance this year in the role of “effective relief pitcher.”

This is the sky that the planes flew across. They were flying too fast for me to get a picture of them.

Then the game started, and the good times stopped. It was the first postseason game in Washington DC since the Great Depression. I guess the Nats decided to help the fans recapture the feeling of that era with their greatly depressing performance. But I think they may have overdone it.

Sadwin Jackson.

I will now present some facts for your general knowledge:

  1. Edwin Jackson pitched for the Cardinals last year.
  2. In his last two starts against the Cardinals, Edwin Jackson has a pitching line of 6.1 IP, 12 ER.
  3. Treason is punishable by death.

I’ll leave the conclusions to you.

Teddy wins. HOW PASSE

Even the Presidents Race was deeply unsatisfying. The Nats did the Gangnam Style thing with the presidents again–an over-long dose of ear-poison that I had already experienced at the last bad Nats/Cards game I attended. Mercifully, I couldn’t actually see them do the deed because I was sitting in the deck directly above them. I was instead forced to infer as to what gyrations were going on beneath me from watching the faces of thousands of bemused, clearly internet-averse Nats fans.

Anyway, it strikes me as very unpatriotic to keep portraying our presidents as Koreans. What did we even fight that war for? Actually that’s a good question.

There was one brief moment when it looked like things had a chance to be not awful. Bases loaded, Michael Morse up as the tying run. The crowd wanted a Beast to be in his Mode.

Is it just me or are there more Nationals fans now than there used to be?

Morse popped up. A few miserable innings later, it was 8-0.

That’s more like it. There are the empty seats I know and love.

In some ways it was nice to have so many innings to just sit there and ponder the possibility of the Nats being eliminated tomorrow.

Oh wait. Actually that was terrible.

The creeping shadow was almost too perfect a metaphor for the creeping shadow of a 2-1 series deficit descending on the Nats. Those rays of sunlight, meanwhile, are probably meaningless.

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One thought on “NLDS Game 3: Badwin Jackson

  1. […] victory, the diabolical Cardinal trap began to spring. Before I knew it, Gio was out of the game, Badwin Jackson was in it, and the lead had been halved. Before I knew another thing, Badwin had done what he does […]

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