Did the Nats win: Nah.
Was it fun to watch: It was literally the least pleasant experience I’ve ever had watching a baseball game in person.
Visceral Emotion of the Game: A nagging doubt that baseball has ever actually been enjoyable for anyone.
It was a perfect day for baseball. To be sure, many days have been described as “the perfect day for baseball” over the years, and some have definitely been better than others, so I can understand your skepticism over that statement. But I would contend that this day, the first home playoff game of your Washington Nationals, was the one. The best weather that October has to offer, a crowd of Nationals fans abuzz with what I absolutely refuse to refer to as “October Natitude,” and this thing happening:
The pregame ceremony was similarly superb, with daytime fireworks, Frank “Daytime Fireworks” Robinson, and a fighter jet flyover that only briefly had me worried that the stadium was getting bombed because Jayson Werth is a suspected terrorist.
Then the game started, and the good times stopped. It was the first postseason game in Washington DC since the Great Depression. I guess the Nats decided to help the fans recapture the feeling of that era with their greatly depressing performance. But I think they may have overdone it.
I will now present some facts for your general knowledge:
- Edwin Jackson pitched for the Cardinals last year.
- In his last two starts against the Cardinals, Edwin Jackson has a pitching line of 6.1 IP, 12 ER.
- Treason is punishable by death.
I’ll leave the conclusions to you.
Even the Presidents Race was deeply unsatisfying. The Nats did the Gangnam Style thing with the presidents again–an over-long dose of ear-poison that I had already experienced at the last bad Nats/Cards game I attended. Mercifully, I couldn’t actually see them do the deed because I was sitting in the deck directly above them. I was instead forced to infer as to what gyrations were going on beneath me from watching the faces of thousands of bemused, clearly internet-averse Nats fans.
Anyway, it strikes me as very unpatriotic to keep portraying our presidents as Koreans. What did we even fight that war for? Actually that’s a good question.
There was one brief moment when it looked like things had a chance to be not awful. Bases loaded, Michael Morse up as the tying run. The crowd wanted a Beast to be in his Mode.
Morse popped up. A few miserable innings later, it was 8-0.
In some ways it was nice to have so many innings to just sit there and ponder the possibility of the Nats being eliminated tomorrow.
Oh wait. Actually that was terrible.