On the Zimmerman(n) Telegram’s Word Cloud

The word cloud at the bottom of our blog is a window into the inner workings of our minds. A season’s worth of posting has provided a substantial sample size, so that the cloud is now reasonably representative of what we think about most of the time when we’re writing about the Nationals. In the midst of a slow November for Nationals-related news, now seems like as good a time as any to investigate just what goes on in our strange, wonderful (if I do say so myself) heads.

Here are the top ten tags that we used this season:

1. Bryce Harper
2. Death
3. Davey Johnson
4. Stephen Strasburg
5. Ian Desmond
6. Tom Gorzelanny
7. Gio Gonzalez
8. Adam LaRoche
9. Tyler Clippard
10. Ryan Zimmerman

Okay, nothing too surprising, just a bunch of baseball players and Death. We do love death. Can’t get enough of it. Death is some¬†funny shit.

But there’s gotta be something more enlightening in that cloud. Let’s make another top-ten-tag list excluding all player and team names.

  1. Death
  2. Sex
  3. Food
  4. Penises
  5. Obesity
  6. Sadness
  7. Poop
  8. Murder
  9. War
  10. Animals

That’s more like it. The entire human condition summed up in ten great words.

We care about all ten of these things deeply, but the list shows that we think more about some of them than others. In the eternal penis-poop war, for instance, the phallus beat out feces yet again. And we like war plenty, but we tend to prefer murder just because it’s a little more personal.

Some notable omissions from the top ten: Life, Happiness, Peace, Urine, and Vaginas.

Finally, I’d like to conclude with some ephemera that really make the word cloud a fun thing to have around. These things resulted from happenstance and the proximity of letters to each other in the alphabet, but they each illuminate a greater truth about the Nationals and/or the Universe.

  1. Davey Johnson is very close to Death
  2. The Philadelphia Phillies are sandwiched between Penises and Poop
  3. When talking about Michael Morse, I tag him as “Michael Morse” while The Giology Professor tags him LESS RESPECTFULLY as “Mike Morse”
  4. The New York Mets and Obesity go together
  5. Between Sex and Sadness, there is Sean Burnett
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One thought on “On the Zimmerman(n) Telegram’s Word Cloud

  1. […] Nationals signed Brian Bocock to a minor league contract. For as much as this blog talks about penises, its nice to have a player with a last name like this. With Tom Gorzelanny leaving earlier this […]

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