We here at The Zimmerman(n) Telegram wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Holidays in general. We’re sorry we forgot to wish our Jewish readers a Happy Hanukkah a few weeks back, but I have a good reason. I charged up my computer, expecting it to last for eight days and eight nights, and wrote an extravagant and lengthy Hanukkah post. Sadly, my computer shut down after 6 hours, leading me to believe that the miracle of Hanukkah is all a lie.
Happy Holidays from The Zimmerman(n) Telegram