Spain and Gain: Dominicans “Rock” Spain, Make Their “Mark”

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An effort to get the hot dog vendor’s attention falls short for Carlos Santana.

Final Score: Dominican Republic 6, Spain 3.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: The Dominican Restoration War.

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The Dominican Republic is not the feared baseball nation it once was. Its national pride has taken a hit as the team has struggled in the past two WBCs. And what’s even worse is that Dominicans no longer have impressive website making skills to fall back on. Coming into their game vs. Spain they might as well have changed their name to the Dominican’t Republic. Or the Diminishedcan Republic. Or the Shitty Dominican Republic. Any of those clever names work.

But historically all it takes for the DR to get their national pride back is a good ol’ whipping of Spain. From 1863 to 1865, the Dominicans and Spain fought in the Dominican Restoration War, a conflict where a rebellious Dominicans aimed to reclaim their territory from Spain. The Dominican players followed in their ancestors’ footsteps by doing everything they could to evict Spain from the baseball field territory, most notably turning on the sprinklers and passive-aggressively shouting leave during a brief 4th inning delay. Eventually the groundskeepers found the off switch.

The conflict looked bleak for Spain from the beginning, much like this game. In both cases Spain showed little to no competence making those back home wonder if it was even worth trying anymore. Sooner rather than later, Spain just seemed to give up, and call off all forces who had previously made any effort to defend against the Dominicans. It was probably a mercy move as well, as we all know doing your job without long breaks to nap in the middle is tough for those of Spanish culture.

The win in 1865 and 2013 revitalized the Dominicans, and created a new flurry of national pride. They also sent Spain packing, eliminating them from having any influence in the region. Now instead of the Dominican’ts, they should change their name to the Dominicans.

What’s that?

That’s already their name?

Oh sorry, I don’t speak Spanish, I had no idea.

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