The Rico Get Rico-er: Puerto Rico Adds to Wealth of Victories at Venezuela’s Expense

I'm not sure how the Venezuelans expected to win starting a dead guy...

I’m not sure how the Venezuelans expected to win starting a dead guy…

Final Score: Puerto Rico 6, Venezuela 2

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: Venezuela feeling that Puerto Rico is the  base of the American Caribbean Empire against Venezuela


Hugo Chavez was a crazy man who believed some pretty crazy things, which makes his passing a bit sad because we will now no longer hear him say any of those crazy things. His hilarious utterances will be sorely missed, if not the other aspects of his existence. In memoriam of his unfailingly creative turns of phrase, this post is dedicated to one of them in particular: his opinion on the island of Puerto Rico.

Chavez felt that PR was in fact being used by the United States as a base of operations for its imperial ambitions in Venezuela and the rest of Latin America. He went so far as to describe Puerto Rico as a “gringo colony” of the U.S., and promised to one day liberate it. He even alleged that the leading U.S. diplomat in Venezuela had met with anti-Chavistas in exile in Puerto Rico.

Were these statements reasonable? Probably not. Did Chavez ever follow through on his promise to “liberate” Puerto Rico? No more than he ever did much about his wonderful statement in English addressed to then-president George W. Bush: “You are the worst, Mr. Danger.

I don’t know this for a fact, of course, but I think it’s safe to assume that the reason Venezuela lost so badly to Puerto Rico in this game is that instead of trying to hit the ball they would just call the pitcher “Mr. Danger” and take their hands off the bad to waft the stench of sulfur away from their noses. Perhaps their team will have more success once they have a leader who actually does effective things instead of just saying funny things.

…as boring as that will be.

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