House of Cards: Nationals Park Occupied by Unwelcome Residents

My soul, ca. April 24, 2013, 4:00 pm

My soul, circa April 24, 2013, 4:00 pm

Game 1: 

Cardinals 3, Nationals 2

Game 2:

Cardinals 2, Nationals 0

Game 3: 

Cardinals 4, Nationals 2

Game 5:

Cardinals 10, Nationals 8

They say revenge is a dish best served never. By “they,” I’m talking about Davey Johnson in what I presume was his pre-series speech. Davey has lived a long time, so you can’t expect him to keep all his axioms straight, but you’d think he could at least remember the basic gist of them. In this case, his disintegrating memory combined with the Nationals’ extreme gullibility resulted in dire consequences.

In their first chance to take their rightful vengeance on the St. Louis Cardinals after the game that must not be named, the Nationals instead just served them a plate with a delicious sweepcake. And now, for the first time in recent memory, the Nationals have a losing record. And I’m not just referring to the White Album record that Davey Johnson misplaces so frequently that he refers to it as his “losing record.” The Nationals are actually 10-11.

These are dark days in Natstown, my friends. The passers-by on the Natsstreets no longer greet you with friendliness. The Natsbars that were once filled with raucous laughter are now scattered with glumly drunken faces. The Natssewers that were once filled with sewage from happy people are now filled with sewage from sad people. Even the Mayor of Natstown has taken to starting every speech with “I hate this job.”

Who should take the blame for allowing this series to be won by the Misery from Missouri? The whole lot of them, I say. The hitting and defense were terrible; the pitching was no better than acceptable. I’ve had it with these goodfornotthings. THROW THE BUMS OUT!

…if they don’t regress to their expected levels of performance within the next two or three hundred games, that is. We don’t want to do anything too hasty.

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2 thoughts on “House of Cards: Nationals Park Occupied by Unwelcome Residents

  1. MaryAnn says:

    Well, it was nice to see Drew perform on Monday going 1-2-3 in the 9th.. Seven pitches, six for strikes. Striking out two, including Pete “Fucking” Kosma watching strike three blow by him.

    Is Drew working his way back into your heart? or is it still too soon.

    Go Nats!

  2. Neptooth says:

    It’s a little too soon and a little too 6.48 ERA. But it is true that the road back into my heart is paved with the bodies of struck out Pete Kozmas.

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