Nats Select Jake Johansen in Draft


Johansen tenses up, worried that his friends are all criticizing his butt.

The Nationals have selected Jake Johansen with their first selection in the draft, at 68th overall. If this is what being a good team involves, waiting nearly 5 hours to make your pick, then I’ll go back to sucking, thank you very much.

Johansen has a fastball that can reach the high 90s, and projects as a possible power arm in the pen. I can’t remember the last time a righty in the pen who throws 99mph did something to hurt us, so this is a great pick. Of course, I have amnesia, and can’t remember what happened earlier this week.

We have to be careful not to confuse Jake Johansen with Jake Johannsen, a comedian. If they turn out similar, it could be bad. Johannsen had a standup special called This’ll Take About an Hour. If Johansen starts having innings like that, I will not be laughing. Of course I have a very high standard for humor, so I probably wouldn’t be laughing at Johannsen either. If its not Carrot Top, it ain’t worth my time.

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