I’ve Seen Things, I’ve Seen Them With My Eyes, Like Nationals Winning Games


This is the shirt they gave away, featuring Mr. Met and, uh, I’m not good with faces… Kinda looks like Derek Bell?

Nationals 6, Mets 4

I finally got to attend a Nationals-Mets game that the Nationals won. How weird is it that I had to use the word finally? That’s like going to the mall and then leaving and saying, “I finally got to go to the mall without being attacked by a giraffe.” It’s not something you would’ve expected to happen multiple times before, much like the Mets beating the Nats, but somehow it did.

For a while though, it looked like the Nationals would greatly disappoint me again. Through 7 innings, Ian Desmond was the only one who had done anything good. If the rest of our team was made up of quadruple amputees, this would be acceptable. But since the team is not all quadruple amputees, Desmond being to only one to succeed is frustrating. Thankfully the Mets “Metsed,” and had a terrific collapse that allowed the Nats to come out on top.


Most of these screens were porn.

Matt Harvey pitches really good against the Nationals. As does every opposing pitcher this year. But Harvey pitches really REALLY good against the Nationals. I’ve seen him face the Nats twice this season in person, and both times I have regretted showing up. Sure, I can appreciate an overwhelming pitching performance from a non-Nationals pitcher. But sometimes it just gets to be too much. It’s like if I saw a Broadway play, and the star kept singing throughout the entire show, from center stage, during other people’s scenes. He might be a really good singer, but maybe they should ease up a bit, just so other people can do what they’re paid to do. So Matt, stop singing next time you face the Nationals, and let us score 20 runs off you please.


This child was eating something sold by a cotton candy vendor, but it looked like teddy bear stuffing. He ate so much, I assume he’s dead.

When the Mets went to their bullpen, that’s when the runs started coming. Which is funny, because when the Nats go to their bullpen, runs start coming also. I guess the Mets and Nats aren’t all that different! *breaks down sobbing* Oh God, I don’t want to deal with what Mets fans deal with…

The Mets used 4 pitchers in the 8th inning, who immediately relieved Harvey of his win, and me of my suicidal thoughts. The Nats loaded the bases with some clutch hits, followed by Ryan Zimmerman’s bases clearing double to tie the game. Ryan figured that he should probably clear the bases for once, since he spends so much time clogging them up with throwing errors.


Cherish this moment. The only time the Nationals have loaded the bases, ever. At least it feels like that.

The game went to the 9th tied, but the Nationals changed that quickly AND IT WASN’T BECAUSE THEIR SORIANO OR STOREN GAVE UP A BUNCH OF RUNS BUT RATHER OUR OFFENSE SCORED TWO RUNS. Sorry to yell, I was just so excited that happened for what seems like the first time.

Werth led off the inning with a double, immediately followed by Desmond doubling. Suzuki added some insurance with a sac fly, and everything was perfectly fine. Nats win, right? No bottom of the 9th needed, right? Please. Please, no. Oh no. We have to try and close out this game? Ugh.


No, those umbrellas aren’t for the rain, but rather the tears of the fans from the upper deck.

Drew Storen. The last time I saw Drew Storen, he gave up 3 runs in 1 inning vs. the Mets. Would he do it again? Not if I close my eyes and act like it never happens.

So I closed them. And I…didn’t hear any cheering. I know this is a Mets game, and thus there’s barely anyone here. But, I figured I’d hear some cheering as the Mets scored. So I opened my eyes, and Drew Storen actually saved the game. I couldn’t believe it. The Nationals won. The Nationals WON! THE NATIONALS WON!

The Nationals lost while I was writing this, so that sucks.

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