Monthly Archives: August 2013

Mike Rizzo Extended, Promoted, Why?

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“You promoted me? Have you seen how our team’s doing?”

Mike Rizzo has signed a new long-term contract and was also promoted to President of Baseball Operations. In other news, I was promoted to CEO of my company for producing a massive shit, so pretty much the same thing.

I’m probably overreacting. Rizzo created a team that did fantastic last year, and is just vastly underperforming this year. Reasonably, he’s not the one to blame.

Unreasonably, he is the one to blame. Fire him! Fire everyone! Burn this whole team down and start from scratch! Just make sure Ben’s Chili Bowl is protected from the fire, that will be the only thing to carry over to the new regime.

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