Tag Archives: 2013 WBC

THEY TOOK OUR WINS! Mexico Gets Job Done With Cheaper, Harder Working Team

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The fences are pretty low, like in Yankee Stadium. Far too many get out.

Final Score: Mexico 5, USA 2.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: U.S.-Mexico border conflict.

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Throughout the 2000s, Mexicans have taken advantage of weaknesses in the American infrastructure and infiltrated our turf and taken what is rightfully ours. I am of course mostly talking about Mexico somehow continually beating the U.S. in the WBC during important games.

In 2006 Mexico cost the United States a shot at wealth and happiness by stealing away a win in the 2nd round. We tried building up our defenses, creating what we thought was an unbreakable product. But the Mexicans managed to take advantage and find a way to take away what we deserved.

And still today, with Friday’s 5-2 win over the United States, Mexico continues to take what we have worked so hard to achieve, just because they play a more appealing brand of baseball with players who are willing to do things American players aren’t for little money (like bunt runners over).

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Taiwan Strike Away: Japan Makes Comeback More Shocking Than The Tentacle Porn They Produce

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This is what they’re fighting over. …and people say baseball’s boring.

Final Score: Japan 4, Chinese Taipei 3.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: A dispute over the Senkaku Island region.

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The Senkaku Islands have been a hotly contested region between Taiwan and Japan for the past few decades. Ever since the islands were claimed by Japan during the First Sino-Japanese War, the nations have fought over who is the rightful owner.

Recently an issue arose between fishing boats located in the area in question, as ships belonging to both Japan and Taiwan had a metaphorical pissing contest by actually spraying each other with streams of liquid. But lets try and stray from the urination and penis jokes, and talk about the most recent conflict between the two countries. A baseball game where they tried to beat each other with their wood.

Damn…

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A Boot In Their Ass: Italy Kicks Mexico’s Habit of Winning

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“Why the fuck did they give us the wrong hats? Lets put them over there.”

Final Score: Italy 6, Mexico 5.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: World War II.

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Mexico and Italy had met once before on an international stage, in World War II. It might be hard to come across articles about said event, given they are buried beneath the more important articles about a Pool D WBC matchup, but they can be found. And when you find them, you realize one thing. Mexico doesn’t do shit, and mostly relied on Italy to fuck stuff up.

Mexico’s importance in the outcome of World War II was minimal. Mexico’s importance in the outcome of this WBC opening round matchup was also minimal. Mexico just seems to sit around, pretending to be involved but really just letting Italy mess shit up for themselves and then taking credit. They brag about how they were a helping hand in defeating the Italians, when in reality it was probably the heaviness of the mozzarella that made it hard for Italy to get up and do much anything.

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Australia’s Swan Song Seung? South Korea Sends Aussies Further Down Under

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South Korea’s excellent performance brought their minister to tears. Australia…devastated.

Final Score: South Korea 6, Australia 0.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: Australia indirectly aiding in the liberation of South Korea from Japanese rule in World War II.

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When it comes to the relationship between Korea and Japan, no matter in baseball nor other matters of life, Korea has always served as the bitch. Whether it was seeing Japan ruthlessly overpower and devastate the Korean people (ex: 2006 WBC semis or 2009 WBC finals), or witnessing Japan do something less awful but still pretty bad like working Koreans to death during Japanese occupation of their country, Korea ain’t doing well in the win column.

In World War II the Allied Forces worked together to defeat the Axis powers, which in turn led to the liberation of Korea, which then in turn led to hundreds of thousands of deaths, division within a country, and the constant fear of war for decades. But you always focus on the negatives! Lets just look at the positives; the liberation. Korea became free and was finally allowed to compete in the World Baseball Classic.

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Havana Ball: Cuba Sails to Win, Wishes it had been America

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Given their large Japanese population, Castro knows this Brazilian President da Silva will understand his insulting akanbe gesture.

Final Score: Cuba 5, Brazil 2.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: 1996 Summer Olympics women’s volleyball fight between the two nations.

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It was only a matter of time before we were reminded of this. There have been wars, there have been genocides, but there hasn’t been a conflict as truly disturbing as this minor verbal altercation during a match to determine who would get the nicer set of really expensive medals.

The past 16-17 years have been a tense time period for Brazil-Cuba relations. Ever since this event leaders of these two countries haven’t been able to discuss international affairs without a net between them, for fear that if it were removed something terrible would happen. These two nations meeting on the baseball field was a similarly difficult experience to watch.

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Nether’s Region: Dutch Prove Pool B Favorite South Korea Ain’t Much

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The Netherlands have assembled an impressive 25-man team.

Final Score: Netherlands 5, South Korea 0.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: The Korean War.

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The Dutch had dealt with the Koreans before. They knew just how difficult a fight they were in for going into this WBC game. Having lost 120 men in the Korean War, although an insignificant number compared to what other countries lost, the Netherlands were intent on avenging this deaths and proving their dominance over the Koreans.

However all these feelings were kind of silly to have. For you see, given the accepted culture of the Netherlands, all the players on the team were actually very high and had a great deal of trouble realizing the difference between North and South Korea.

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Peng-Pong Diplomacy: Relations Strain as Taiwan Shows Baseball Competence

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A couple Australian players found it unfair for China to get two opportunities, but that’s just their policy.

Final Score: Chinese Taipei 4, Australia 1.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: Australia’s participation in the 1972 Joint Communiqué that recognizes the People’s Republic of China as the sole Chinese authority.

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There were many things that worked well for Taiwan tonight. Our old friend Chien-Ming Wang turned in a stellar pitching performance (better check to make sure he wasn’t cheating, he’s been known to do that), Cheng-Min Peng led a potent offense that put the team up early, and the all-around performance of the ball club led to a relatively easy 4-1 win over Australia.

Shame the Aussies don’t give a shit.

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