Tag Archives: Adam LaRoche

Nats Fail to Finish Chore of Sweeping, Get Beaten by Dads: A Padres Series Recap

Game 1:

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A doctor (not shown) chases Span to try and finally cut off his umbilical cord. However, Denard doesn’t want to part with it after all these years, and runs away. (AP Photo/Lenny Ignelzi)

Nationals 6, Padres 2

Stephen Strasburg dominated the Padres on Thursday night, going 8 innings and allowing just 1 earned run. With a rough start to the season, Strasburg hopefully turned things around with his tremendous performance. What changed for him? Well, San Diego is where he’s from. And apparently that means a great deal for his comfort. He was quoted as saying, “It’s easy pitching in front of a lot of loved ones.” Understandable. But I have a question Stephen.

You…don’t love us?

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Nats Catch Tigers By Toe, Don’t Let Go When They Holler

Game 1:

Denard Span makes the mistake of looking into the fiery pools of unbridled hatred that are Adam LaRoche's eyes. (Patrick McDermott/Getty Images)

Denard Span makes the mistake of looking into the fiery pools of unbridled hatred that are Adam LaRoche’s eyes. (Patrick McDermott/Getty Images)

Nationals 3, Tigers 1

This game marked a historic moment: the three billlionth anniversary of the day that Davey Johnson first clawed his way out of the primordial soup.

It was also less notable as being the first time that the Nationals have ever beaten the Tigers in a real live major league baseball game. It’s another relic of the Nationals’ embarrassing past shed, like when your mom finally incinerates your collection of Magic: The Gathering cards or when a really ugly person that you hooked up with once finally dies.

This is a new, more mature and discerning age of Nationals baseball. We can do things like beat the Tigers and have people like Jordan Zimmermann on our team, now, and people won’t think we’re getting too high above our station. We no longer have to be ashamed to exist. That’s the mark of a great baseball franchise.
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Nationals Ring the Bell, Win at Pitt: A Pirates Series Recap

Game 1:

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Jason Grilli’s hair starts spinning to prepare for takeoff. (AP Photo/Keith Srakocic)

Pirates 3, Nationals 1

“Fuck the Yankees.”

Having admitted to being, in addition to a Nationals fan, a Yankees fan, that is not a sentence I have said often. I said something like it once before when I asked my girlfriend to keep putting on different masks of Yankees players so I could live out a totally non-gay, non-weird fantasy. But don’t judge, cause you’d do it too if you got to imagine you were having sex with Bartolo Colon.

But it has recently become clear that the Yankees, obviously tired of winning the World Series (why else would they trade for Vernon Wells and sign Lyle Overbay?), have made it their sole objective to hurt the Nationals. The plan? It’s obvious. To acquire terrible talent and strategically send them off to teams where they could hurt the Nationals most. You may say I’m a conspiracy theorist, but I have proof that the government doesn’t want me to reveal because Bigfoot is real and 9/11 was an inside job.

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Whoaaa ohh no-no-no. Oh-oh-ohhh oh no-no-no: A Braves Series Recap

Game 1:

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This guy just stood there like this during the whole game. It was weird. (Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images)

Braves 6, Nationals 4

Drew Storen should be using Bad Company as his entrance music. No, not the song he currently uses, but rather a song from the Sondheim musical Company, performed very badly to prepare us for the performance that Storen will then have. We could even take liberties with some lyrics to, again, better reflect Storen’s contributions to the team.

What we do without Drew? Win like we usually do.

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Split Peavy Soup: Nats Slurp Up White Sox in Series Opener

When the sunlight reflects off this sign at just the right angle, you can make out the faint hidden hologram message: “Suck it, Phillies.”

Final Score: Nationals 8, White Sox 7.

Belle of the Ball: Adam LaRoche. Adam’s two home runs made me forgive his 0-14 start to the season, but will I ever forget? Yeah, probably, in a couple months.

Smell of the Ball: Rafael Soriano. Save or no, Soriano smelled like a toilet that had gone unflushed flushed for a thousand years.

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Man, I love Gio Gonzalez. Can’t get enough of him. I go to all his starts. I love when he pitches, when he hits, when he just sits in the dugout and grins, when he balks with the bases loaded–wait. No. I hate when he does that. Damn it, Gio.

But even in the face of such a balk, I will not balk (HA) at expressing my affection for Gio, especially when he follows it up with four scoreless innings. Continue reading

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Nationals Re-Sign Adam LaRoche

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Don’t look so angry, Stephen. It might be Morse who’s out of a spot in our lineup, not you. Why, you’re our best hitter.

Davey Johnson got his Christmas present just a few days late this year. Even though a delay in delivering his gift was a risky move, considering that someone his age could crumble to dust at any moment. But Davey finally got what he wanted, a returning Adam LaRoche.

Just a little while ago, Adam Kilgore reported¬†that LaRoche had agreed to return to Washington. It seems Adam finally caved on needing three years, as the Nationals and he agreed to terms on a two year deal. I think this works well for both parties. The Nats get their star first baseman from last year on a short term deal to see if he can prove himself again, and LaRoche doesn’t have to commit to something for all that long. We know he’s had trouble with that in the past.

While many are delighted by this signing, it could be bad news for Mike Morse. With LaRoche returning, and a new outfielder in Denard Span, Morse is without a spot in the Nationals lineup. Could this be the end of Morse in DC?

I would hate being Mike right now. He’s settled down in DC. I mean how do you think his Twitter handle (@DC_Beast38) would take it if Mike told it that all the friends it’s made mean nothing anymore. That it has to move to a new city and make new friends. That it had to change its name to something yet to be determined. This is the problem with being a baseball player. You have to settle down never being sure how long you’ll stay. And then when you have to move, you have to break it to those you love and ask them to change as well. Poor Twitter handle.

UPDATE: LaRoche is guaranteed $24 million and can earn up to $37 million with a mutual option. Despite all the speculation, its clear that LaRoche had 24 million good reasons to stay in DC:

  1. He likes playing in DC.
  2. That is a lot of money.
  3. The Nationals are playoff favorites.
  4. Other cities are scary.
  5. He likes this taco place near Georgetown.
  6. His car is broken and can’t take him anywhere.
  7. He just bought a Nationals hat for his son and he can’t just be spending hundreds on hats.

23,999,993 more reasons to come.

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Nats Sign Two to Minor League Deals

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And one of them likes to play golf. I hope he doesn’t blow late season games just to get out on the course.

While the following moves happened a few days ago, they are still worth noting. Especially since nothing else is happening for the Nationals aside from Adam LaRoche saying he wants 3 years, Mike Rizzo saying he won’t budge from two years, and that process repeating again and again. It’s like some terrible sitcom that has an overdone, recycled plot for many of its episodes and ends up going nowhere. Well hopefully the LaRoche saga, as well as How I Met Your Mother, will both be over soon.

The Nationals have signed Mike Costanzo and Matt Torra to minor league deals. Costanzo immediately brings to mind George Costanza. They clearly have the same unfortunate luck, as Costanzo spent some time with the Phillies in his career. He had a cup of coffee in the majors, only it was bitter and instead of cream contained many tears. Costanzo had 21 plate appearances for the Reds and did not produce much. But hopefully, with some semi-decent career minor league numbers, Costanzo can do something for this organization that isn’t just sparking ideas for new Seinfeld jokes.

Matt Torra was part of the impressive draft class of Justin Upton, Alex Gordon, Ryan Braun, Ricky Romero, Troy Tulowitzki, Andrew McCutchen, Jay Bruce, and our own Ryan Zimmerman. Sadly, he was none of those people. Having been drafted 31st overall in 2005, Torra’s career has been less than stellar to this point. But while his stats may not be that good, we’re stuck with him now. No, releasing is not an option for Torra. Why you ask? Well if we dropped the Torra, we’d have to fast for 40 days. And Ben’s Chili Bowl is far too delicious to do that.

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Nats Acquire Denard Span

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Denard’s mother believes having discipline is important for baseball, and still believes in spankings to enforce it. Denard is not fond of spankings. Or as his mom calls them, “SPANkings.”

The Nationals pulled off a big trade just minutes ago, acquiring Denard Span from the Twins for pitching prospect Alex Meyer. The team has been trying to find a solid CF for a few years, and have made many attempts at Denard during that Span of time. The (front) Office has done good by bringing in Denard Dog.

Span has dealt with injuries for a few years, but when playing he’s a big on-base threat and a quality fielder. While this would be a good acquisition for any team, it means a lot for the Nationals. The move allows Werth and Harper to move to the corner outfield spots, making Morse or Moore a valuable trade chip, and the re-signing of LaRoche not such a sure thing. I’m sure Adam would be worried about what this means for his future with the Nats, if he hadn’t already been distracted by 3 separate topics in the last 5 minutes.

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Silver Slugger Winners Announced

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Rizzo claims Strasburg’s award for himself, taking away yet another thing from Strasburg that he deserves to experience.

Earlier tonight MLB announced their Silver Slugger award winners. The Nationals won big, with Adam LaRoche, Ian Desmond, and Stephen Strasburg taking home the honor.

I’m really happy for Adam. He had a amazing comeback year for us and deserves credit. Though I worry about him having a shiny object like this around the house. Probably doesn’t help him keep his ADHD in check.

Ian winning this honor was a nice reaffirmation of how good his season was. He took great strides towards becoming a versatile offensive player. He can hit for power, hit for average, steal bases, AND produce runs for the other team with his errors. Few players are as all-around offensively minded like that. Probably for the better.

It was no surprise that Strasburg took home this honor, having been our offensive leader for quite some time this season. I think we can all agree that when Rizzo shut down Strasburg we worried that it would negatively impact the quality of our pitching, yes. But first and foremost, we were afraid that with less playtime the voters might not recognize Strasburg for this award that he deserved. Thankfully Strasburg at least came away with the biggest thing that matters to players, especially pitchers. No, not a playoff win. No, not a world series ring. But a Silver Slugger award.

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Adam LaRoche Wins Gold Glove

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His official Gold Glove portrait. Still not sure why they make players take these.

Just moments ago, Adam LaRoche took home his first career Gold Glove award. He’s the 2nd National ever to win the award, behind Ryan Zimmerman in 2009. Upon receiving the award in his hands, Adam exclaimed, “fits like a glove!” Followed by a few moments of awkward silence, he was booed off stage and told to never make stupid jokes like that again.

The award is Adam’s first major individual accolade since being named a Topps All-Star Rookie first baseman in 2004. Sure that meant something at the time, but we all know there’s no real market for Topps anymore.

What awards will be given to Nationals players as the offseason continues? Manager of the Year for Davey Johnson? Rookie of the Year for Bryce Harper? Staggering Disappointment of the Year for Drew Storen? We’ll have to wait and see!

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