Tag Archives: Albert Pujols

NLDS Game 5: A Nationals Tragedy

The gateway would have better represented what was in store for me inside had it read “Arbeit Macht Frei.”

Baseball is over, and I have come a long way in my emotional healing process since attending Game 5 of the NLDS. At long last, I feel that I can write about that game without breaking down, hiding under my bed, and trembling for a few hours until the flashbacks go away. Okay. Deep breath. Here goes.

The tears wept by thousands of Nationals fans after the bottom of the 9th of Game 5 have long since turned into a fine mist that hovered over Nationals Park and descended to earth to water the outfield grass so it will grow still greener next seas-NO NO NO OH GOD IT’S ALL COMING BACK NO I CAN’T RELIVE IT ALL AGAIN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It was a perfect night for October baseball. The air was crisp, the sky was clear, the crowd was abuzz, and the Cardinals fan sitting to my right was shrieking like a rabid banshee biting off her own fingers.

Oh wait, that last thing does not belong in the “perfect” category. It seemed that a woman had traveled hundreds of miles from St. Louis to Washington, DC for the sole purpose of shortening the number of years before I need a hearing aid.

People haven’t been so excited about waving red towels since brides after their wedding nights in the middle ages.

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Looking at the NLDS

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Look at it! Look!

The Nationals have clinched home field throughout the postseason. They are the number 1 seed in the NL, with an amazing record of 98-64. They will face the wildcard team in the first round of the playoffs. Let’s take a look at the two options, Atlanta and St. Louis, and analyze the pros and cons of each potential matchup.

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Boston’s Common: Strasburg Beats Another Team, Again

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Davey Johnson decides what part of Bryce Harper he’s going to touch. (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images)

Final Score: Nationals 7, Red Sox 4.

Dame of the Game:

Bryce Harper/Stephen Strasburg: 3-5, 2 R, 1 HR, 1 2B, 3 RBI, Win, 6 IP, 4 H, 2 ER, 2 BB, 13 K. Probably the most impressive statistical line of any dame of the game to date, aside from any instance where Brad Lidge might have not given up a run, but I’m pretty sure he’s never won this award. Both Harper and Strasburg in their own unique ways were the big reasons the Nationals dominated the Red Sox tonight. I’m sure every Red Sox fan wishes they had stayed home. 19 and 23 year olds used to be a welcome site in Fenway, but Terry Francona is no longer managing so nobody really is there to greet them with pics of themselves in a towel anymore.

Shame of the Game:

The Entire Red Sox Organization. You are playing host to Bryce Harper, Stephen Strasburg and many more talented Nationals for the first time ever and you don’t roll out red carpets for them to walk to the field from the dugout? You don’t replace every scoreboard proposal message with fans begging those two players to marry them? You don’t tell Saltalamacchia to kiss Bryce’s feet every time he comes into the batter’s box? Please, next time show some respect, you filthy whore bastard bags of shit.

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It was a day of firsts. The first time Stephen Strasburg faced the Red Sox. The first time a 19-year old homered in Fenway Park in nearly 40 years. The first time Tom Gorzelanny touched a willing woman (Please don’t tell him it was a mannequin set up by the team, just for his self esteem). The Nationals trek to Fenway Park got off on a good start as all the pieces came together and a win was produced. It was really something for many players to see the Green Monster for the first time. No, I’m not talking about the wall. I’m talking about that monstrously large guy named David Ortiz, who’s obsessed with money. Why else would he get so furious about not getting his RBI if it didn’t mean a bigger payday? Padding his stats, and his waist, are things Ortiz knows well.

But let’s not focus on David Ortiz. The Nationals are the team we all care about.

Wait, hold on. I gotta cough.

*COUGH*DAVID ORTIZ IS A SELFISH JERK*COUGH*

Yes, that sounded natural.

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2012 Nationals Player Profile: Brad Lidge

Pride cometh before the Fall Classic

Hubris. It has been the ruin of many of humanity’s greatest figures. Odysseus, defying Poseidon and shouting his true name to the cyclops Polyphemus. Napoleon, leading the grand armée into a wintry death in Russia. Davey Johnson, drinking one non-alcoholic beer too many on his 43rd birthday. On October 17, 2005, a new name was added to this ignominious list: Brad Lidge.

In 2004 and 2005, Brad Lidge was homerically good, posting ERA+s of 230 and 185, respectively. In the second of those years, his Houston Astros made it to the NLCS, where they took a commanding 3-1 series lead over the St. Louis Cardinals. With the Astros up 4-2 with two outs it the ninth, Lidge was one strike away from sending his team to the World Series. Lidge instead decided, presumably for the sake of extra drama, that he would allow two baserunners to bring Albert Pujols to the plate as the go-ahead run. After getting a first pitch strike, Lidge used his intra-baseball-player-telepathy that all baseball players have to talk to Albert Pujols: Continue reading

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