Tag Archives: Andrelton Simmons

Nether’s Region: Dutch Prove Pool B Favorite South Korea Ain’t Much

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The Netherlands have assembled an impressive 25-man team.

Final Score: Netherlands 5, South Korea 0.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: The Korean War.

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The Dutch had dealt with the Koreans before. They knew just how difficult a fight they were in for going into this WBC game. Having lost 120 men in the Korean War, although an insignificant number compared to what other countries lost, the Netherlands were intent on avenging this deaths and proving their dominance over the Koreans.

However all these feelings were kind of silly to have. For you see, given the accepted culture of the Netherlands, all the players on the team were actually very high and had a great deal of trouble realizing the difference between North and South Korea.

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Ejection Day: Ryan is Wrong for Washington

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Dan Uggla? I’m so sorry. (Photo by Mike Zarrilli/Getty Images)

(A note: Sorry for the delay for this post. I’ve been experiencing bad allergies that have kept me from functioning properly. Maybe I’m allergic to horrible failure by the Nationals. The allergies did just start on Friday.)

Final Score: Braves 5, Nationals 4.

Dame of the Game:

Adam LaRoche: 1-4, 1 R, 1 HR, 2 RBI. LaRoche reached the 30 HR plateau on Saturday. I’m impressed he’s able to accomplish a task that requires such consistency, considering his affliction. No, I’m not referring to his ADHD. I’m referring

Shame of the Game:

Ryan Mattheus: Loss, 1 H, 2 BB, 1 HBP, 1 ER. Mattheus could not find the strike zone. He’d make a good umpire after retirement, not knowing where the strike zone is and all.

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The elderly get no respect from those who are in charge. First it’s politicians trying to cut their health services. Then it’s Bingo hall attendants who won’t give them that Bingo just cause they’re playing with too many cards which is apparently unfair. They want that banana pudding, damn you! And now, it’s umpires. I’m sure when Davey Johnson came out of the dugout to protest that play at first, the umpires simply thought he was confused and lost. But he had a point he needed to make. One that wasn’t about walking to school 15 miles, uphill both ways. And what happened? He was ejected.

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Morse Is A Horse, Of Course, Of Course: Mike Stands Tall Over Braves

“Hmm… tastes like… a jersey…” (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

Final Score: Nationals 5, Braves 4.

Dame of the Game:

Mike Morse: 4-4, 3 R, 1 HR, 1 RBI. The Code turned things around and cracked something himself. That something was a tiebreaking home run in the 8th to put the Nats on top for good. Morse apparently called his shot beforehand, but I thought at the time that drawing lines and dots in the dirt was just an unnecessarily long at-bat ritual.

Shame of the Game:

Chad Durbin: Loss, .2 IP, 2 H 1 ER, 1 K. Durbin: a word made up of the words “dur,” commonly heard by Chad after doing something dumb while pitching, and “bin,” representing a trash bin in which Durbin’s pitches belong. Durbin. Dur.

Bin.

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Today was in large part about Mike Morse. You can tell by the title of this post, which of course relates to the old TV show Mr. Ed. To honor Michael’s big day, I have rewritten the lyrics for the theme to that show:

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Morse is a horse, of course, of course,

And no one can sock like Morse, of course,

That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed (Mathews).

Go right to the source and ask Mike Morse,

He’ll give you the homer that you’ll endorse.

He’s always on a steady course.

Gawk at Mr. Morse.

People whackkity-whack the balls, into gloves they stray.

But Mr. Morse will never swing unless he can hit it far away.

Morse is a horse, of course, of course,

And Mike will hit with a great big force.

You never heard of a socking Morse?

Well listen to this: “I’m Michael Morse.”

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