Tag Archives: anthropology

An Anthropological Study of the Met Fan, Assuming There Are Any

Image

Oh wow, a full parking lot? Two hours before the game? Man these fans must be dedica…oh wait, that’s probably just people parking for the US Open across the street.

Final Score: Nationals 5, Mets 1.

Dame of the Game:

Gio Gonzalez: Win, 6 IP, 3 H, 5 BB, 1 ER, 6 K. Tonight can be best described as “Gio Gone Wild.” Gio was not in a proper mindset, doing crazy things that didn’t reflect well on him. But he still gave pleasure to millions of people watching. If only he had flashed his breasts too.

Shame of the Game:

Kelly Shoppach: 0-3, 1 E. Shoppach dropped an easy foul ball by Kurt Suzuki. And you know what they say. You never give Kurt Suzuki a second chance. Unless you’re the Nationals, who gave Kurt Suzuki a second chance after Oakland. Kurt homered, and Zim did as well shortly after, as Kelly looked on regretting the biggest mistake he’s ever made.

———-

About two weeks ago, my writing partner took a trip to Philadelphia during which he filed this report. It was an insightful look into an unfamiliar territory, although I wouldn’t recommend looking again because some of those fans are just so grotesque. I thought it would be a fantastic idea to continue to expose our readers to fanbases they may not have seen in their own element before.

On Monday night, I went to Citi Field to see the Nationals play the Mets. I expected to see multiple signs that said “garage sale,” looking to raise funds for their losses to Bernie Madoff, but was surprisingly met by people carrying on as normal. I entered the stadium and began to take note of what I saw. My report is detailed below.

Continue reading

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

An Anthropological Study of the Phillie Fan: A Loss for the Nationals, a Gain for Science

Phillie fans amuse themselves by watching the “Phillies” (for which they are named) play a game on this field involving bases, balls, and men.

Final Score: Phillies 4, Nationals 2

Dame of the Game: 

The 2-3 Phillie fans who weren’t horrible to me.

Shame of the Game:

The rest of the Phillie fans.

——–

Much has been written of the Phillie fan, that savage creature that has for so long invaded and pillaged the beautiful lands of Navy Yard. Our understanding of these people, however, is colored largely by their behavior while on these raids into our homeland. We know little of the social mores and culture of their native land. Our opinion of the Phillie fan may well have been biased by only observing them in their most aggressive state.

In order to right this scientific injustice, I embarked on a journey to Citizens Bank Park in the distant nation of Philadelphia to gain a greater understanding of the Phillie fan and its society. What follows are my findings, obtained at no small risk to my personal well-being.
Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Advertisements