Tag Archives: arbitration

Jordan Zimmermann Avoids Arbitration with Nationals


Just like he avoids Ryan Zimmerman. But Ryan keeps trying to be his friend anyway.

Breaking news! In that I’m breaking the laws of news by claiming this to be breaking when it is in fact hours old, but please forgive me.

The Nationals and Jordan Zimmermann have avoided arbitration by agreeing to a $5.35 million 1-year deal. They have also avoided us needing to figure out how to change our url yet move all our stories over to a new one for at least another year.

Now that I know Jordan will be playing for the Nats this upcoming season without any issues, I can relax. I worried about who could be your heir, Jordan. I’m just glad that you didn’t have to take it to any court to decide the case. This re-signing is a slam dunk for the team.

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Clippard Signs, Zimmermann Heads to Arbitration


Jordan’s bare chested jersey design is met with applause by the ladies.

The final two arbitration cases for the Nationals have come into clearer focus. Tyler Clippard became the 6th national to sign a contract to avoid arbitration, agreeing to a $4 million deal. How this will affect Tyler and Drew’s relationship has yet to be seen. I hope Drew doesn’t feel emasculated, with Tyler becoming the main wage earner in their household. But as I said yesterday, it’s hard to imagine Drew being successfully emasculated with the plethora of balls he seems to keep producing.

As for the 7th arbitration case, it seems that Jordan Zimmermann and the team are headed towards an arbitration hearing. Zimmermann has filed for $5.8 million, while the team has offered $4.6 million. I’m siding with Jordan here, and not just cause if he ever ended up elsewhere our blog name would be ruined. Jordan is well worth double what he’s asking, but the team seems to be unwilling to meet his demands. There is a historic precedent for this, as Jordan only has 2 “n”s at the end of his name, while he originally wanted 17. The team didn’t have the fabric for that.

I hope the team and Jordan come to an agreement soon, because I’m sure that thezimmermantelegram.wordpress.com has been snatched up by a fan waiting to sell it to us for billions, since that is what its worth.

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Ian Desmond Signs 1 Year Deal to Avoid Arbitration


The contract signing.

Ian Desmond and the Nationals have agreed to a 1 year, $3.8 million deal to avoid arbitration. In other news, with this constant stream of arbitration posts my jokes are running out. So let’s just say something thoughtful about Desmond’s baseball skill, something you’d find on a real legitimate sports blog.

He…touch a baseball and it went out. He field a ball once.

Hmm…not very good at insight. I’ll try to stick to jokes in the future.

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Stammen Avoids Arbitration with Two Year Deal


He mostly stayed to get more free ice cream from these filmed Nationals segments.

Craig Stammen has avoided arbitration by agreeing to a 2-year contract with the Nationals. While terms are presently undisclosed, I feel that given the Nationals tendency to give $28 million to relievers who don’t deserve it, Craig will certainly earn more by actually being a talented reliever.

If anyone had the Stammena to go through an exhausting arbitration process and come out with what he deserved it was Craig. But Craig got things done early and will be staying in Washington for at least 2 more years. Up to this point it had been a bad winter for baseball Craigs. But since Stammen’s accomplishments were rewarded while Biggio’s were not, it is clear that we have the better one.

Update: The deal is for $2.25 million. I guess blown saves are worth 26 million dollars then.

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Detwiler Agrees to One Year Deal


Detwiler and Rizzo (in a wig with a lot of plastic surgery) agree to the deal.

Ross Detwiler and the Nationals have agreed to a contract worth $2.3375 million plus incentives for the 2013 season, avoiding arbitration. Now I know there’s a lot of criticism out there for people who spend lots of money on high end breeds. So spending over 2 million dollars on a dog like Ross¬†will be met with a lot of backlash. Sure I feel bad that there are so many poor dogs just sitting out there, begging to be taken home for nothing. Like that poor Randy Wolf-mix, or the LaBradPennydor Retriever.

But the Nationals deserve a high quality dog for their high quality team. They need one to compete on the highest level. One who can strike out a Bichon Freese or a Jack Russell Martin Terrier with ease. Because of this, I welcome the Nationals bringing back Ross. He will surely be an important part of our team, and additionally can probably help Davey Johnson do stuff around the clubhouse if Davey’s eyesight starts going.

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Storen and Nats Avoid Arbitration


Drew attempts to celebrate with a high five, but something goes terribly wrong.

Drew Storen has avoided arbitration just like he avoids the strike zone, by agreeing to a 1 year, $2.5 million contract with bonuses that can reach $1 million more. So clearly the Nationals will be handing out contracts with a dollar value about equal to the number of people the player let down in October.

Ah, I’m sorry. It’s unfair to still be mad at Drew. He’s a great talent and a great man. No, not character wise. I mean he’s as man as man can be. Just look at all his balls.

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