Tag Archives: Aroldis Chapman

Taip-ei Diabetes: Cuba Kills Opponents With Sugar

Tragically, the elderly Diaz did not survive his ill-conceived attempt to block the plate.

Tragically, the elderly Diaz did not survive his ill-conceived attempt to block the plate.

Final Score: Cuba 14, Chinese Taipei 0

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: Cuba severs diplomatic ties with Taiwan in 1960

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This game was a bit…one sided. Like a one-sided die that’s just a marble that says “Cuba Wins” all over it. They really could have just rolled that die before the game to decide the winner and saved themselves the trouble.

If the theme of our World Baseball Classic coverage was to use major league players hailing from the countries involved as a metaphor for the game, this game would’ve been Aroldis Chapman and Chien-Ming Wang trying to see who can throw harder. But it’s not. So HERE’S SOME FUCKING HISTORY. Continue reading

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25 or 11 to 5: Chicago Instrumental in Making Nats Fans Happy

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Edwin Jackson is a really entertaining juggler, even with just one ball. (Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images)

Final Score: Nationals 11, Cubs 5.

Dame of the Game:

Adam LaRoche: 4-4, 2 R, 2 HR, 2 RBI, 1 BB. I already knew from¬†The Creation of Adam¬†that Adam had a lot of muscle. I also knew he’d have to do really impressive things like this to help compensate for “down there.”

Shame of the Game:

Chris Rusin: Loss, 1 IP, 8 H, 1 BB, 5 ER, 1 K. This performance by Rusin was really sub-carpathian-par.

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It’s not often a team throws seven pitchers out there that I’ve never heard of. Usually it only happens when watching AAA teams like the Buffalo Bisons or Houston Astros. But the Cubs joined that club tonight. I was introduced to seven pitchers who I have never heard of before tonight’s game. I know it’s bad to say this, as somebody who covers baseball, but I really just had no idea who I was watching. Even though there was one Cub who pitched in last night’s game. He was just as forgettable as our our team’s owners make our time in Montreal seem.

But as a reporter, I feel it is my duty to know who I am reporting on. That being said, I’m kind of tired and don’t really want to do much research. So here are my possibly uneducated feelings about the 7 men who pitched for the Chicago Cubs on Tuesday night. I hope they’re all accurate.

Continue reading

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