Tag Archives: Austin Kearns

Nationals Promote Nate Karns, Detwiler to DL

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Some pitchers scare hitters with their fastball. But Karns scares hitters by reminding them what could happen to their bite if they don’t wear their retainers.

Nate Karns will be called up to start Tuesday’s game vs. the Orioles. So break out your Austin Kearns jerseys and hope that everyone in attendance has dyslexia, because he deserves your support. Just don’t spend any money on him until he proves he’s better than Austin Kearns was.

It’s about time we had the Karnival come to town, because this team is not very fun to watch sometimes. Hopefully we can just sit back and enjoy some candy dipped baseballs but NO roller coasters. Please, no more roller coasters Karns. We have to deal with them every day when our bullpen comes in to pitch.

The promotion corresponds with the team finally placing Detwiler on the DL. Detwiler had been dealing with an oblique strain for quite some time, but the team was hoping that we would find out that Ross could simply have his oblique removed and we could all move on healthily. Because seriously, what does the oblique do besides sideline baseball players? I think all doctors should just remove them at birth.

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Nats Sign Bill Bray

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Yes Bill, I see the ball. No need to show off, it’s not that impressive.

There’s no better follow up to the announcement of Zach Duke Week than a post having nothing to do with Zach Duke. The Nationals have brought back former-Nat Bill Bray on a minor league deal. Bray pitched for the team in 2006 before being traded with Royce Clayton (yes, the Hall of Fame candidate), Brendan Harris, Gary Majewski, and Daryl Thompson to the Reds for Austin Kearns, Felipe Lopez, and Ryan Wagner. With Bray coming back to us I think we definitely won this trade. I was on the fence about Jim Bowden as GM, but now I fully support him.

Bray was a 2004 1st-round pick for the Expos. How he ended up in the Nationals organization, well I’m not sure. There’s no record of a trade between the two teams or anything. It’s as if Bray just appeared in our organization in 2005. Weird.

What? Bowden isn’t GM anymore? Huh…

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