Scary moment as gravity temporarily disappeared when Desmond tried to touch home. He was successfully weighed down however by the tremendous sense of failure he has yet to shake off. (Photo by Greg Fiume/Getty Images)
Final Score: Nationals 5, Diamondbacks 4.
Dame of the Game:
Ian Desmond: 2-5, 1 R, 2 RBI, 1 2B, Walkoff HR. Have you ever smiled when someone says the name Ian Desmond? Yeah apparently you can. No, I’m not lying. Desmond was the star of the night, and not the type of star that forms a black hole and sucks up everything beautiful surrounding it. He was the type of star that actually contributes positively to the universe. I would suggest not getting too close, much like a real star. Bad things probably happen when you touch him.
Shame of the Game:
J.J. Putz: Loss, Blown Save, .2 IP, 2 H, 2 ER, 2 K. What a Putz. This guy epitomizes what a Putz is. That whole family is sadly full of worthless, stupid people. It’s miraculous that they’ve survived this long. J.J. has done the noble thing though in order to remove this failure of a gene pool from the planet and agreed not to procreate, much like Hitler’s surviving relatives. Yes, these are comparable things.
Five straight losses. Up until tonight the Nats had been reminding us fans of the Nationals of old, losing game after game and crying in the showers. We’re not sure if this is because they lost so much or if it’s since Davey Johnson insists on showering with the team. But with one swing of the bat, something changed for the Nationals. With one swing of the bat, the Nationals experienced something that fans could cheer about. Yes, Jayson Werth got a single at one point.
Oh there was another swing that was a walkoff home run too. That probably changed things more.