Tag Archives: Bill Ladson

Nationals Re-Sign Zach Duke

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“As long as they keep feeding me more of these towels, I’ll be very happy in Washington!”

The Nationals have re-signed Zach Duke to a major league contract, according to Amanda Comak. The team has also re-signed Zach Duke to a minor league contract, according to Rotoworld. I am now reporting that the Nationals have re-signed Zach Duke to a diminished league contract. Expect Bill Ladson to soon report something about an augmented league contract.

If Duke does play on the major league squad this season he’ll be replacing Tom Gorzelanny. That makes this signing especially attractive. I look forward to being able to keep my eyes open again during late inning blowouts.

Update: The Nationals twitter confirms the deal to be for a major league contract. Just a minor change to my story, I hope it doesn’t diminish your enjoyment of the jokes I made before.

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Goodbye, John Lannan

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Enjoy your new career as a dog groomer.

Bill Ladson is reporting that the Nationals have non-tendered John Lannan. After bringing in Gio and Jackson last season, and with Detwiler outperforming expectations, Lannan sadly didn’t have a spot in our rotation. Going into next year, he still has no spot. Yes, we only have 4 starters. But Strasburg likes to stretch his legs, so its important he gets some extra room.

Earlier this year when profiling Lannan, I used the similarly-named John Lennon’s obituary as a template. Thus with Lannan leaving Washington, I feel its appropriate to provide you with the song that Paul McCartney created shortly after Lennon left us. The only difference in the song’s message is that while McCartney might be crying tears of grief, I’m crying tears of happiness that we don’t have to pay $5 million to a Chief anymore.

Lannan will be missed though. A lifelong Nat after being drafted in this team’s first ever season in 2005, Lannan has played for this system his entire career. I just hope someone steps up and brings him into their home. He’s a good hearted creature. He’s got all his shots and I’m pretty sure he’s potty trained. He loves with playing with balls, and will be sure to put smiles on kids faces. Someone please adopt him, and give him a good home.

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Nats Hire Tony Tarasco as 1B Coach, Promote Trent Jewett to 3B

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I hope he doesn’t get mad everytime the first baseman snags the ball before he’s able to.

Per Bill Ladson, the Nationals have hired former major leaguer Tony Tarasco to coach first base next season. How could the Nationals be so foolish. In our war against the Phillies, why are we bringing in the relative of one of them?

That’s right. Tony Tarasco is the cousin of…Jimmy Rollins.

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Strasburg To Miss 2-3 Starts/Postseason

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He will also miss that piece of gum he mistakingly spit out on the ground, as seen above.

According to Nationals reporter Bill Ladson, Strasburg is expected to miss 2-3 regular season starts, and will not participate in the postseason, in an effort to limit his workload. He has also tweeted that Santa Claus isn’t real, and that dad didn’t really love you because you were never good at sports, just to make sure everyone was as miserable as possible.

While the limited starts in the regular season isn’t such a worry, Strasburg missing the postseason could be troublesome. Gio, Edwin, Jordan, and Det are a group of four that rivals any other rotation out there. But Strasburg is our secret weapon, a weapon of mass destrucbgoroubgubge;bwg

Sorry, when I was typing that a bunch of soldiers kicked down my door and questioned me as to where the WMD was. They left 8 years later.

I just hope the Nationals know what they’re doing with this limited workload. If we’re not going to use Stras in a pitching role during the playoffs, I hope we can use him another way. Like as a clean up hitter. And a leadoff hitter. And every other hitter, since his OPS is higher than every starter.

Or maybe we can just use him as an extra cashier at Ben’s Chili Bowl. The lines there are always pretty long, it’d be nice to speed things up.

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“The Shark” Makes it Big, What Will Be Next?

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Roger Bernadina murdering Andrew McCutchen.
(Credit: Sharkadina)

Despite our efforts to suggest a more fearsome nickname for Roger Bernadina, it seems as if “The Shark” has stuck. Even longtime hater Bill Ladson finally admitted that Bernadina’s nickname was “The Shark.” During last night’s game, “Shark” chants filled the stadium. It was arguably the most joyous occasion where hundreds of people were screaming “Shark.” Depends if you like seeing fellow beach-goers being mauled.

This got us thinking. If a couple of other fans nicknamed Bernadina, why couldn’t this blog succeed in doing the same for other Nationals. Below, may I recommend some nicknames for all those in Natstown to consider. Additionally I recommend a certain item to wear for each nickname, much like Sharkadina fans wearing shark heads.

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