Tag Archives: Bo Porter

Bo Porter to Manage Houston Astros

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Ryan laughs as Bo tells him a funny joke. He would later find out that Bo wanting to manage Houston is all too real.

Bo Porter is a masochist. At least he must be, after accepting the job to manage the Houston Astros next season. The story was broken just minutes ago by Jon Morosi that Porter would be leaving the Nationals to take the vacant managerial post in 2013. Porter will be at the helm for a big transition, as the team moves to the AL. I can’t foresee much success there though. While most AL teams have a designated hitter, the Astros will be the first team without one. Not because they will lack the position, but they lack anyone who can actually make contact.

Losing Bo is tough. He’s been with the team for 2 full seasons, and has done so much in that time. Raising his arms. Twirling his arms. All those things! He’ll be hard to replace.

Luckily, Bo will stay with the team throughout the playoffs. I guess it’s nice to give him the chance to experience something that he’ll never come close to in his new post. Let’s win this though, if not for the city then for the man who has made many arm motions in his time at third base. “Go for Bo!” will be the rallying cry of this team as they go further into the playoffs. I hope the Secret Service don’t misconstrue that as a plan to try and kidnap the Obama’s dog.

Wait a second…I think I might have found the solution to our impending vacancy:

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Our new third base coach.

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Brawl for All: Nats KO Cubs with 4th Straight Smackdown

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As benches clear and tensions rise, Ian Desmond and the ump share a passionate moment. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

Final Score: Nationals 9, Cubs 2.

Dame of the Game:

Jordan Zimmermann: Win, 7 IP, 5 H, 1 BB, 2 ER, 9 K. Jordan has returned to form after a few starts that made Nats fans nervous. At least I think this was Jordan… It could very well be Strasburg pulling a Scooby Doo villain-like thing and wearing a very convincing mask. Well if that’s the case, I’m all for it. I’d be sure he’d get away with it too, if it wasn’t  for that meddling GM.

Shame of the Game:

Jayson Werth, for swinging at a 3-0 pitch. Honestly Jayson, how could you?! That is so terrible of you, to want more insurance runs in the middle of a game that could be tied easily. Well, easily if it were a team aside from the Cubs. Maybe next time you’ll think twice before trying to score runs. Which is a strategy that the Cubs have seemed to adopt.

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“You gotta fight! DUM DUM. For your right! To swing at 3-0 pitches!” – From the first draft of the Beastie Boys song, when they were still a baseball themed rap group. They realized there was no chance for being the best though, with the 1986 Mets and their rapping genius.

The only thing the Cubs are successful at is starting strange non-sensical arguments. Maybe they should all run for office as Republicans, they’d be much more successful at that. For some reason on Thursday, they took offense at Jayson Werth swinging at a 3-0 pitch with the bases loaded. Maybe they were just really concerned with balls flying in the air since so many people were on the field. You know what they say, safety first. Or in Wrigley, failure first, safety second. Thankfully for the Cubs, they came through on both ends.

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Marlins Mar Grins: Mike Stants Tall as Nats Do Fall

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Celebrating is a very somber time for the Nationals. (AP Photo/Joel Auerbach)

Final Score: Marlins 5, Nationals 3.

Dame of the Game:

Jordan Zimmermann, The Hitter: 1-2, 1 R, 1 HR, 1 RBI. Jordan Zimmermann is sick and tired of throwing 7 IP, allowing 1 ER, and not winning the game. He decided to take things into his own hands and power one out of the park.

Shame of the Game:

Jordan Zimmermann, The Pitcher: Loss, 6 IP, 8 H, 4 ER, 4 K. Sadly, it seems he is so sick of throwing 7 IP, allowing 1 ER, and not winning the game, that Zimm has decided to stop even coming close. It’s been three starts since his 4th 7IP/1ER outing of his season, and he doesn’t seem to be going back. His outlook on the game changed. If he couldn’t get support pitching so fantastically, maybe he could get support pitching dreadfully. I worry he’s going to be less like his rotation partners, and more like Jose Lima. He’ll begin to say “It’s Zima Time,” upsetting people greatly by not only letting them know a lot of runs are about to be given up, but also reminding them that Zima existed.

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Miami is all about clubbing. It has one of the best nightlife scenes around, and also one of the biggest men who clubs the furthest home runs anyone ever sees. Giancarlo Stanton is someone everybody wants on their team, and every day that passes that someone doesn’t have him they cry and cry. This has been how great baseball players have been measured throughout history. The better a player, the more tears shed by the entirety of MLB’s fans. There are exceptions however. When you see people crying about Tom Gorzelanny, they simply are weeping for that gene pool.

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2012 Washington Nationals Roster

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The new style for team photos has made some of the players uncomfortable.

Spring is over. The battle to be one of the last 25 standing has come to a close. While some argue that certain people didn’t deserve to make the team, and others say that some players were snubbed, the one thing I think we can all agree on is that twenty-five players have been selected.

Let’s look at the team:

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