Tag Archives: Curse of the Catcher

Wilson Ramos Breaks His Hand On Opening Day

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Jose, don’t look so sad. You’re our starter now.

Despite a miraculous an inevitable comeback win vs. the Mets on Opening Day, news for the Nationals isn’t all good. James Wagner reports that Wilson Ramos left today’s game with a broken hand.

This injury marks the earliest appearance of the Curse of the Catcher in a regular season game. While we don’t know how long Ramos will be out for, we do know that Jose Lobaton is about to stuffed down our throats. So if you’re already eating something, finish chewing it quickly.

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Current Nationals in Playgirl

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Hot.

Above you see (or don’t see if you cover your eyes like any reasonable person would do) Steve McCatty, mostly naked. Earlier today, Baseball Prospectus published an article detailing a 1980s Playgirl featuring Major League Baseball players and their sexy scouting reports.

Well believe it or not, magazines are still around. Including Playgirl. And I just so happened to be looking through one for more Steve McCatty pictures when I found something interesting… It turns out that a lot of the current Nationals players also posed in Playgirl, just recently. Below I’ve included some of the photos, and some of their scouting reports.

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Nats Sign Accardo, Snyder

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Point those fingers the other way. I’m talking about you, Jeremy!

The Nationals made two minor league signings today, bringing in both reliever Jeremy Accardo and catcher Chris Snyder. Accardo gives the Nationals some more right handed relief options, as well as some more concession stands to consider. Accardough’s Pizza will be located down the third base line this coming season no doubt.

Snyder provides some catching depth at the minor league level, but let’s be honest. We know that’ll thin out soon. Snyder’s family has already made funeral arrangements. Poor Nationals catchers…

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Run, Jesus Flores

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He’s not taking it well.

In a series of non-tenders, the Nationals have let Jesus Flores go. Jesus, I’d thank you for all you did for this team… but there’s no time. Run.

Run while you can! You can escape being a catcher for the Nationals! Don’t look back!

Didn’t you see what happened to Wilson and Sandy and Carlos? It was going to happen to you too. If you stay too long, I can’t guarantee your safety. It might be hard leaving Washington, but know that the team is doing this for your safety. Find a safer place. Like behind home plate in Arizona, or Minnesota.

Just run. Don’t let the Curse of the Catcher catch you.

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National Re-Sign Maldonado, Sign Kruml

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“I had a dream job as a baseball player once….It was awful.”

The long National nightmare is over. After so much speculation, Washington will have Carlos Maldonado back, serving this country, for another year. After Maldonado elected free agency, many weren’t sure if we’d ever see his face again. Or if we had ever seen it in the first place? He’s such an obscure player, I really don’t know what he looks like.

But now we are certain that Carlos will return and be in a position much like Obama is. In a dangerous spot in Washington where everyone is looking to take you out (the Oval Office/behind home plate at Nationals Park), with limited chances that they will get anything done (because of a bitter and unhelpful House/tremendously limited baseball ability). Good luck at leading this great country, Carlos.

In other news (I can call it that since news’ reputation as actually important has taken quite a hit in recent years) the Nationals have signed former Yankee Ray Kruml to a minor league deal. Kruml may not be the most talented player, but he does have the most confusing last name. Krum would be a fine name. We’d be able to make a lot of jokes and signs referring to Krum the Horrible, the 9th century Khan of Bulgaria. It would be a great comparison, since Kruml’s chances of being a major leaguer seem somewhat horrible. But instead we’re stuck adding an “l” to everything. Kruml the Horriblel? Doesn’t quite slide off the tongue. In fact, my tongue broke trying to say that.

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Carroll and Maldonado Elect Free Agency

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Brett wanted to spend more time with his passion, laughing at the small portions that poor people get.

Brett Carroll and Carlos Maldonado have elected free agency. Both men played an important role on this team in 2012, by staying out of the way as to not prevent our success.

Carroll had an exciting two at bats in 2012. Exciting for the other team, because he got out in both of them. But at the same time he managed to score 2 runs. Sure he might strike out and fail to impress every time he sets out for success, but he still manages to score often. Hmm, scoring a lot even though you’re a failure? Must be on some madam’s list somewhere.

As for Maldonado, I’m impressed he’s still alive. Playing catcher for the Nationals in 2012 was a risky thing to do. But he came out in the end and is still breathing. So congrats on being alive. At least physically, despite if you’re dead on the inside. We know that can happen to someone after playing in Syracuse for so long, just look at John Lannan and his sad, dead eyes.

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I Can’t Believe It’s Not A Loss: Nationals Spread Happiness with Win

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Justin Ruggiano has no escape from the terrifying baseball. (Photo by Marc Serota/Getty Images)

Final Score: Nationals 8, Marlins 4.

Dame of the Game:

Bryce Harper: 2-5, 2 R, 2 HR, 3 RBI. Two home runs in one game. Wow. One wasn’t enough for you, Bryce? Oh right, you’re a Mormon.

Shame of the Game:

Jacob Turner: Loss, 5 IP, 6 H, 5 ER, 6 K. Many Nationals climbed all over Jacob’s Ladder to reach a heavenly state today from ending their five game losing streak. The Marlins on the other hand slid down the lesser noted Jacob’s Chute, falling farther into the hell that comes with being a Marlin.

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Rosie the Riveter was right. We can do it! We can win baseball games! Many didn’t believe in us, many thought that we were at the point where we’d sit back and let the rest of the league run all over us like they had been for years. But disaster struck. A 5-game losing streak. We had to step up and show our worth, that we could do things just as well as anyone else. Finally, during the 6th game we have achieved what we’ve been working so hard for. Hopefully we are never relegated to sitting back and losing ever again, and we remain on an equal plane with the rest of the league for the rest of the way.

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Dunn Dunn… Dunn Dunn…: Jaws Drop as Nats Attack in 8th

Final Score: Nationals 10, Marlins 7.

Dame of the Game:

Adam LaRoche: 2-4, 3 R, 2 HR, 2 RBI. Adam hit two home runs and reached on a crucial error, showing a nice mix of power and luck. He would do well at a casino, in that Lady Luck would be on his side, and he could also just punch dealers until they give him money.

Shame of the Game:

Michael Dunn: .2 IP, 4 H, 1 BB, 6 R, 0 ER, 1 K, 1 E. None of Dunn’s runs were technically earned, but they came after his fielding error. If every pitcher did like Dunn and began the inning with an embarrassing error, they would have a fantastic ERA. They would also be very bad.

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A little mistake can spiral out of control. Like signing with the Phillies, or reproducing while having the last name Gorzelanny, things may not look terrible at first. But you will soon pay a great price. Today, Michael Dunn made a little error. No biggie, Marlins still up by 2. 1. 0. -1. -2. -3. -4. Well that escalated quickly.

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Nats DFA Maldonado, Release Hill

On a day that the Nats acquired a new catcher they have decided to get rid of two, in what’s being called the most humane decision since the invention of no kill shelters. Carlos Maldonado, a man who was a big league Nats catcher and also caught the injury bug (sorry for being redundant), was DFA’d to clear space on the 40 man for Kurt Suzuki. He will be missed. By stray bullets and out of control trucks, now that his luck has improved.

Also you may remember me writing about the Nats signing Koyie Hill earlier this season. I didn’t. But he’s gone too.

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Nationals Acquire Kurt Suzuki

The Nationals traded for Kurt Suzuki today. I feel for the Suzuki family. It’s tough to see a loved one go to fight in a place they are likely to get hurt. Sandy Leon can breathe a sigh of relief now that he no longer has to be behind the plate for the Nats. It will be a heartwarming reunion for him and his wife, who, after a rough first tour, wasn’t sure he would make it out alive.

The team traded away David Freitas, an A-level catcher. He must be thrilled with his honorable discharge before experiencing battle. The Nats also received cash considerations, presumably to cover Suzuki’s medical bills.

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