Tag Archives: ellipses

… : … (Part 2)

Instead of having CIA-head David Petraeus throw out a ceremonial first pitch, the Nats would have been better off having him call in a non-ceremonial drone strike on Giancarlo Stanton. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

Final Score: Marlins 8, Nationals 0.

Dame of the Game:

Sandy Leon: 0-0. Just kidding, it’s no one.

Shame of the Game:

Adam LaRoche: 0-3. The ohfer is less shameful than the fact that he, as a cleanup hitter, only got up three times. That’s not entirely his fault, but I’m in no mood to accurately assign blame for this game.


There are a couple of things that make this game slightly less miserable than the near-identical game from about a week and a half ago. One, Stephen Strasburg wasn’t pitching this time, so we didn’t have to worry about the fact that his innings were being wasted on an overflowing toilet of a baseball game. Unfortunately, that thing is canceled out by the fact that we now know that Strasburg won’t pitch again this year at all, which casts a pall of misery over pretty much every Nats-related thing that happens. Two, the Nationals only got shut out 8-0 this time instead of 9-0. Unfortunately, that thing is canceled out by the fact that WHO CARES THEY STILL GOT SHUT OUT BY RICKY NOLASCO AGAIN. Continue reading

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… : …

“I don’t want it. Do you want it?” “Uh, not really.” “…” “…” “One of us should probably get it.” “Yeah…” “…” “…nah” (AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)

Final Score: Marlins 9, Nationals 0

Dame of the Game:


Shame of the Game:

The Washington FUCKING Nationals.



So here we are. August 29th, 2012, and the Nationals are four games ahead in the NL East after losing their fifth straight. Five months ago, I never would have thought that I could be this upset at a four game division lead on August 29, but then I never would have thought that I could accidentally gamble away all my possessions and be forced to make my new home among the Swamp People either, so there you go. Continue reading

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