Tag Archives: errors

Nats Fail to Finish Chore of Sweeping, Get Beaten by Dads: A Padres Series Recap

Game 1:

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A doctor (not shown) chases Span to try and finally cut off his umbilical cord. However, Denard doesn’t want to part with it after all these years, and runs away. (AP Photo/Lenny Ignelzi)

Nationals 6, Padres 2

Stephen Strasburg dominated the Padres on Thursday night, going 8 innings and allowing just 1 earned run. With a rough start to the season, Strasburg hopefully turned things around with his tremendous performance. What changed for him? Well, San Diego is where he’s from. And apparently that means a great deal for his comfort. He was quoted as saying, “It’s easy pitching in front of a lot of loved ones.” Understandable. But I have a question Stephen.

You…don’t love us?

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The Curse of the Billy Errors: A Cubs Series Recap

Game 1:

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Despite Ryan’s protests, the ump went through with his dick punch, captured here mid-windup. (AP Photo/Nick Wass)

Nationals 7, Cubs 3

This is Ian Desmond’s world and we’re all just living in it. Which explains the amount of accidental gunshot deaths in the news recently. A lot of people are committing stupid errors.

But today there were no accidental gunshot deaths, or even worse, throwing errors for Desmond. Instead he put on a fantastic offensive performance that powered the Nationals to victory. With a home run, a double, and a single, Desmond managed 7 bases while seeing just 6 pitches. So he was a lot more patient than usual. All in all, I’m very happy with Desmond at the moment. In fact, I’m going to order an Ian Desmond jersey right now.

*UPS guy arrives*

Why does this jersey have the number 6 on the back? That’s his old number! Gah, what a stupid error. Didn’t you get the memo MLB shop? We’re not doing that for Desmond anymore!

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Rendon Called Up, Zimmerman to DL

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The sad man to the left of Rendon was certain he was next in line to play 3B instead of Anthony.

Ryan Zimmerman going to the DL has become an event for celebration in Natstown. Sure, Ryan going down is always a blow to the team. But with every Zimmerman injury comes an exciting new prospect to the major league squad. Last year was Harper, and this year is Anthony Rendon. Pretty soon, anytime a Nats fan wants a top prospect to be called up, they’ll probably pull a Tonya Harding type thing with Zimmerman.

Who knows when Zimmerman will return. What we do know is that Rendon’s debut is right around the corner. Does this news make you pained and uncomfortable? No, that’s not because you’re worried about how ready Rendon is. It’s because you’ve got Rendonitis.

We mentioned Rendonitis a while ago, claiming that a cure was to put Rendon on the ML roster. Oddly enough, I still feel pain with regards to Desmond erring, so clearly that was not the solution. It is clear to me that Rendonitis is an incurable disease that will rapidly spread throughout all the Nats faithful. So get ready for a disease that never goes away, because trust me, it’ll be worth it. Wouldn’t you give a lung for a home run? I would.

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Nationals Activate Desmond, DFA Izturis

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Cesar doesn’t know how to react to the news when he arrives at the ballpark. Not that he was DFA’d, but that he wore the wrong clothes.

Ian Desmond has made his way back from the DL a lot sooner than people anticipated. In fact, it’s the quickest he’s done anything since turning us all against him after a promising 2009. But actually, his presence will be a big boost for this lineup. Not cause Ian is good or anything, but cause he often offers to have players sit on his lap at dinner tables if they need a booster seat and don’t have adult size. He says he likes the warmth or something. He’s weird.

With Ian’s return, we lose Cesar Izturis. Cesar possessed a skill that other Nationals shortstops lacked: defensive competence. It will be sad to have grounder after grounder to short be carelessly bobbled or thrown away by Desmond or Espinosa or whoever is playing there. But we can take solace in one thing. And that’s returning this majestic creature, Cesar, back to the wild. Sure he won’t have money, or a job, but he’ll have his freedom. And isn’t that what we all deserve?

Oh, he has a family to support? Sorry about ruining all that, Cesar.

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