Tag Archives: facebook

Nationals Sign Dan Haren


Taken moments after a good hand lick.

There are benefits and downsides to sleeping late. On the plus side I feel more rested, I let my sore muscles recuperate, and I spend less time awake still unable to escape the horrible thoughts of game 5 of the NLDS. The horror.

But on the downside people tend to have the nerve to move on with the world while I’m unaware of what’s going on. This morning I woke up to some news that was already hours old. That news is of course that the Nationals have signed Dan Haren to a 1 year, 13 million dollar contract, pending a physical. What am I supposed to do now? It’s hard to draw interest to a story like this when so many have already been written. I need something to attract people. Maybe a few key words will draw a new crowd in, some popular terms that many people search. I’ll just toss a few right in here:

Obama, boobs, Lindsay Lohan, Facebook, colonoscopies, alien mud men, fiscal cliff, The Hobbit, Christmas, Bryce Harper penis (according to our blog’s analytics that is a very popular search), and juice boxes.

Hopefully that gets a new crowd of people to stumble upon this story.

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Follow The Zimmerman(n) Telegram From All Over the Place!

“I LOVE LOVE LOVE OHMYGOD LOVE The Zimmerman(n) Telegram, but I never know when a new post is up! I tried refreshing every second of the day, but then my finger fell off.”

It’s a common complaint that we get, and it’s time to address it once and for all. Sure, you can follow the blog through WordPress or on Google Reader, but don’t you want to check for new posts while you’re also looking at photos of an ugly acquaintance you don’t like with their weirdly lumpy boyfriend/girlfriend/child on a social media site? I know I do.

Here’s how to do it: just like us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/TheZimmermannTelegram

Or! Follow us on Twitter at @TheZimTelegram.

You will surely be rewarded, in this life or the next. Or the next, but probably not the one after that.

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