Tag Archives: fishing

Taiwan Strike Away: Japan Makes Comeback More Shocking Than The Tentacle Porn They Produce

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This is what they’re fighting over. …and people say baseball’s boring.

Final Score: Japan 4, Chinese Taipei 3.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: A dispute over the Senkaku Island region.

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The Senkaku Islands have been a hotly contested region between Taiwan and Japan for the past few decades. Ever since the islands were claimed by Japan during the First Sino-Japanese War, the nations have fought over who is the rightful owner.

Recently an issue arose between fishing boats located in the area in question, as ships belonging to both Japan and Taiwan had a metaphorical pissing contest by actually spraying each other with streams of liquid. But lets try and stray from the urination and penis jokes, and talk about the most recent conflict between the two countries. A baseball game where they tried to beat each other with their wood.

Damn…

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Give the Nats the Fish, and They’ll Lose For a Day

Dancing is contagious…but who started the epidemic? (Chris Trotman/Getty Images)

Final Score: Marlins 2, Nationals 1

Dame of the Game:

Gio Gonzalez: 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 H, 9 K. Fresh off his All-Star appearance, Gio pitched like a star, though not all that great a star. More like a class-M  main sequence dwarf with a few ice planets orbiting it. Not about to go supernova or anything, but still.

Shame of the Game:

Michael Morse: 0-4, 3 K. Morse the pity that he did not play better in this game.

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I had seafood for dinner Friday night. Then the Nationals beat the Marlins. I’m a very superstitious person, so naturally I had no choice but to have seafood for both lunch and dinner the next day in the hopes that it would work again.

It didn’t work again. My eating of two whole fish yesterday did not correspond to the Nats metaphorically eating The Fish. This is very distressing. Superstitions have never failed me before. What am I going to do now? Do I have to abandon the idea that my personal actions will affect the outcomes of baseball games, a principle on which basically every action I take is based? Continue reading

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Pick Awful: Jackson’s Bad Bait Lets Marlins Swim to Victory

Bryce Harper taunted Marlins fans by striking a Captain Morgan pose and holding it for a full half inning. (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)

Final Score: Marlins 3, Nationals 1

Dame of the Game:

Jhonatan Solano: 1-1, 2B. Solano doubled in his first major league at-bat. It is now too late for him to correct the spelling of his first name before officially entering the baseball record books, which is sad for him and the people who read baseball’s record books. So I guess the total negative impact of this event on the happiness of humanity will actually be pretty minimal.

Shame of the Game:

Bryce Harper: 1-4, 3B, 2K. Harper chose his timing as poorly as he chooses his hairstyles, as he crushed a triple with no one on and two outs before striking out pathetically with the bases loaded and one out his next at bat.

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There’s nothing quite so frustrating as failing catastrophically at something you didn’t even have to do. Did you work overtime to start a new project at work that lead your company to bankruptcy? Did you give a compltetely healthy man brain surgery and accidentally kill him? Did you run a nuclear bomb safety drill so real that you actually set off a nuclear bomb, wiping out an entire city? Then perhaps you have some empathy for Edwin Jackson, whose superfluous pickoff attempt in the 7th inning resulted in a two base error and the eventual winning run for the Marlins, spoiling his otherwise great start. I can empathize with him because one time in little league I tried to pick someone off third but ended up throwing the ball past the third baseman and into a gutter. Years later I am only now beginning to recover from the emotional trauma. Edwin, if you ever need anyone to talk to about this, I’m here for you.

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