Tag Archives: Frank Francisco

Sit ’em Down John, Sit ’em Down John: Lannan Shuts Mets Out in Return

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I am blessed with fame yet again.

Final Score: Nationals 2, Mets 0.

Dame of the Game:

John Lannan: Win, 5.2 IP, 5 H, 1 BB, 2 K, 0 R. Stephen who? In his third start of the year, Lannan pitched excellently to lower his ERA to 2.41. What’s that? Oh yes that’s right, Strasburg. Stephen Strasburg…….god I still miss him.

Shame of the Game:

Jon Rauch: 1 IP, 1 H, 1 ER, 1 K. Rauch immediately allowed an important insurance home run to Desmond upon entering. We can all thank him for his first useful contribution to the world since getting that jar down from the top shelf thanks to his height.

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I might be the first person in history to say, “that sure was a fun Mets game, I’ll happily go again soon!” After seeing the Nationals play in Queens on Monday, I decided to go back for Wednesday’s game. It was a thrilling experience, one that I will never forget. Unlike Mets fans, who down a pill bottle after each game to try and develop some sort of amnesia to escape the pain. I took the subway out from Manhattan and found it to be packed. Am I in for a raucous crowd tonight? The answer clearly became “no,” as many of them left 2 stops before proving themselves to be commuters. That “no” was further solidified as I walked past the parking lot, no longer being used as spillover for the US Open.

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An empty parking lot. That makes more sense. Also, a thumb.

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The Moore-al of the Story: Home Runs Help Get Wins

Bryce Harper practices his right-handed golf swing. I think his hands are mixed up, though. (Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images)

Final Score: Nationals 5, Mets 3

Dame of the Game: 

Tyler Moore: 1-1, HR, 2 RBI, R. [Bonus Moore pun] Every time Moore does something good from now on, I’m going to describe it as a “Moore-ality play.” Ideally the Nats would do the same and have him battle the seven deadly sins as he rounds the bases before being greeted happily by the Virtues as he reaches home.

Shame of the Game:

Frank Francisco: 0 IP, 2 ER, 3 H, BB. San Francisco’s younger brother just never could measure up. The elder sibling became a great American city, while the younger became a bad pitcher for a bad team.

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Davey Johnson said after last night’s game that it’s “time to be looking at magic numbers.” Now, in any other context, that would be taken as the mad ramblings of a senile old man or the drugged musings of an LSD user (or in the case of Davey Johnson, probably both). I mean, “magic numbers”? Numbers tend not to have any magical properties, for two reasons: 1) they are really just abstract concepts and thus cannot have physical properties at all that could be magical, and 2) no things actually have magical properties because magic doesn’t exist. Furthermore, the idea that one could “look at” “magic numbers–things that are not viewable and couldn’t exist even if they were–seems preposterous. Continue reading

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