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Splitting Hairs, Scalps, Games: Nats Keep One Head Intact After Braves Doubleheader

The Nationals “forgot” that John Lannan is allergic to gatorade. (Patrick McDermott/Getty Images)

Final Scores: Braves 4, Nationals 0; Nationals 5, Braves 2

Dame of the Games:

Roger Bernadina: 5-7, R, RBI. The Shark hasn’t often been spotted of late. He was swimming beneath the surface, biding his time, waiting for some vulnerable, unsuspecting, overly-Brave surfers to happen by so he could rip off their legs. Roger had a feast of legs last night.

Shame of the Games:

Steve Lombardozzi: 0-9, 2 K. If Steve Lombardozzi were a cat and his at-bats yesterday were lives, he’d be dead.

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Coming off Friday’s game in which the good morale of the Nationals was wrenched out of their smiles, put in a meat grinder, sat on by a man who just died of obesity, and fed to a pack of rabid wolves, their prospects for Saturday’s doubleheader seemed grim.

They bounced back quickly in game one. By which I mean they bounced from the horrible place they were after Friday backwards to an even worse place. A place where they get shut out by someone who has hardly pitched in the majors in two years. A place where it’s eternally 2006 and all the women look like Sean Burnett in a wig. Let’s not be in that place any more, please.

Unable to cause any pleasure under the Sheets, the Nats found themselves just 1.5 games ahead of Atlanta and in serious risk of surrendering the series lead by the end of the weekend. Their greatest hope of fending off this onslaught and regaining some modicum of momentum was a man who hasn’t been seen in many moons around Nationals Park. An old veteran once beloved by his people because they lacked anyone better to love, now cast aside in the face of younger, stronger, more able men. A bitter man who probably hates the Nationals more than anything else. Continue reading

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