Tag Archives: Germany

When in Rome, Do as the Romans Do: Lose

I think that guy on the right with the long hair and the grim face is Silvio Berlusconi in disguise.

I think that guy on the right with the long hair, the evil mustache and the grim face is Silvio Berlusconi in disguise.

Final Score: United States 6, Italy 2

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: An oldie but a goodie: World War II

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Hey, remember that time Italians were fascists?

Heh. Silly Italians.

Now, I know I’ve already covered the Italian Campaign in pointing out Canada’s lackluster role in the whole affair. But I do think it’s worth stressing the extent to which Italy got absolutely clobbered in this war, then slathered onto a tank sandwich between two slices of the U.S. and Nazi Germany.

The big blow in the campaign was undoubtedly the American-led capture of the island of Sicily. That event also happens to be recalled by a similar occurrence in Saturday’s U.S.-Italy WBC game: David Wright’s fifth inning grand slam off hopeless Tampa Bay Rays reliever Matt Torres. In 1943, the U.S. had its Mediterranean bases filled with ground, air, and naval forces. The invasion of Sicily, like Wright’s home run, cleared those bases and would eventually lead to a decisive American victory.

Big shout out here to our very own Ross Detwiler, whose 4 shutout innings made him the Dwight Eisenhower of this game. I hope to see Ross taking many trips around the warning track this season in the jumbo Ike costume we’re sending him as a reward.

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Great Moments in Nationals Sign-Making History

Here at the Zimmerman(n) Telegram, we take pride in making a new and unique sign whenever we attend a Nationals game. Given today is the worst day in all of sports with absolutely nothing going on, I thought it would be good to show you some of our signs that we have shown off at Nationals games.

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No Double Plays Defense: Throwback Giants Throw Back Giant Mistake

Santiago Casilla experiments with throwing his shoe to first instead of the baseball, with predictably poor results. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

Final Score: Nationals 6, Giants 5

Dame of the Game:

Adam LaRoche: 2-5, RBI, K. I’m not giving this to him because of his near-disastrous-game-winning-should-have-been-inning-ending-double-play ball, but for his successful bunt off Matt Cain in the 4th. Instead of being a stubborn ass-mule like every other left-handed hitter who’s ever been shifted on, he sucked up his “I’m a real man who hunts animals, gets tattoos and never bunts” pride, bunted to the left side, and easily got a hit. I hate every lefty who has never done this obviously correct thing.

Shame of the Game:

Brandon Crawford: No at-bats, Horrible Fielding Mistake That Ended The Game. Thank goodness for Brandon Crawford and his comrade-in-failure Brandon Belt, who Brandoned together to save Adam LaRoche from my hatred and prevent Sean Burnett from having the opportunity to probably blow the game.

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Thursday night was “Turn Back the Clock” night at Nationals Park, and the year that the clock was being turned to was 1924. Consequently, I will tell the story of this game using the important events of 1924 as a metaphor.

January 23: Vladimir Lenin dies; Bottom of the 2nd: Nationals score a run. The Russian Revolution rabble-rouser’s death is good news for American democracy and free enterprise worldwide, but it is marred by the fact that Josef Stalin, who will ultimately begin the Cold War, soon begins consolidating power. Similarly, the small victory of the Nationals going up 1-0 is marred by the fact that it happened on an Ian Desmond-struck double play ball.

February 22:  Calvin Coolidge is sworn in as the President of the United States; 1st-5th innings: Ross Detwiler gives up three runs on 11 hits. Both of these events are decidedly mediocre.

April 1: Hitler’s Beer Hall Putsch; Bottom of the 4th: Adam LaRoche bunts for a hit. Both Hitler’s and LaRoche’s actions were revolutionary, but both ultimately failed at the time. The Putsch was put down and Hitler arrested, and Ian Desmond struck out to end the inning. Continue reading

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