Tag Archives: Hall of Fame

Opening Dayum: Nats Show Off Impressive Assets In Tight One

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“You see this? This is my nipple.”

Final Score: Nationals 2, Marlins 0.

Dames of the Game…s…: 

Bryce Harper: 2-4, 2 R, 2 HR, 2 RBI. Now on pace for 324 home runs this season, I’d say Harper is falling just short of expectations. But he’s young. Maybe with some more experience he’ll end up like Dmitri Young, who was once on pace for 486 home runs after Opening Day. And who was also once convicted of a crime, a key to being considered a great. Don’t believe me? Well if Lenny Dykstra and Ugueth Urbina aren’t Hall of Fame bound, then I must be completely unaware of the actual definition of the word great.

Stephen Strasburg: Win, 7 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 3 K. After a leadoff single, Strasburg retired 19 straight batters. He made the Marlins look silly. In fact, I haven’t seen a team look as pathetic as the Marlins did today since I looked at the Marlins roster yesterday, and anytime in the past 4 months.

Shame of the Game: 

Rafael Soriano: Being Rafael Soriano. What can you say about a guy like Rafael Soriano? He threw a perfect 9th, showed impressive velocity and control, and I still hate him. Some say “let bygones be bygones,” but I say “drill bygones into your mind so you can always remember who has wronged you.”

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The smell of freshly cut grass. The warmth from the sun’s rays. The semi-irrational hatred of millionaires that I’ve never known personally, building to its highest level since October. Yes, baseball is finally back.

The last time the Nationals took the field in a game that mattered it ended in shock, depression, and misery. Yes, that exhibition loss to the Yankees on March 29th was a real bummer. There is nothing more depressing than losing to a lineup featuring Vernon Wells and Lyle Overbay. But the team looked to move on and improve, and there were many positive signs that suggest the team will do even better in the coming year. Let’s hope these positive signs are accurate, and that the Nationals prove to be pregnant. Pregnant with quality offense, and good defense, and a placenta that I can ultimately eat so that I feel one with the organization.

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Roger Clemens is Back in “Baseball”

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An up-to-date photo of Roger.

Roger Clemens has signed with the independent league Sugar Land Skeeters, and will likely pitch this Saturday. People are unsure as to why Clemens, 50, is making a comeback at this time. Is it for publicity? Is it for a comeback? Or is it cause he needs to be around people to help chew his food for him so he can swallow it?

It’s exciting to see Roger Clemens back in baseball. Apparently he was throwing 87 mph, which makes him much too good for the independent leagues, so he will likely succeed.

People are curious as to if Clemens wants to make a major league comeback, if only briefly, to reset his Hall of Fame chances. He’s currently grouped in with a class that includes Barry Bonds and other players suspect for their steroid use. By playing professional ball again, he could delay his potential induction by a few years, and perhaps sneak his way in. If not, he could just actually sneak his way in and hold up a handmade plaque around his face during visiting hours.

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