Tag Archives: happiness

The Ghost of Haren-hal: Formerly Good Pitcher Assassinates Nats’ Chances of Sweep

Game 1:

Jordan Zimmermann knows that in Kurt Suzuki's embrace, he will find a new definition of pain and suffering as he is slowly hugged to death over a thousand years.

Jordan Zimmermann knows that in Kurt Suzuki’s embrace, he will find a new definition of pain and suffering as he is slowly hugged to death over a thousand years.

Nationals 10, Marlins 3

This game was as it should be. The Nationals played the Marlins. The Nationals beat the Marlins, by a lot. The world was in harmony; children laughed and played and there were no sad people at all except for Marlins fans, so there were no sad people.

The end. Continue reading

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On the Zimmerman(n) Telegram’s Word Cloud

The word cloud at the bottom of our blog is a window into the inner workings of our minds. A season’s worth of posting has provided a substantial sample size, so that the cloud is now reasonably representative of what we think about most of the time when we’re writing about the Nationals. In the midst of a slow November for Nationals-related news, now seems like as good a time as any to investigate just what goes on in our strange, wonderful (if I do say so myself) heads.

Here are the top ten tags that we used this season:

1. Bryce Harper
2. Death
3. Davey Johnson
4. Stephen Strasburg
5. Ian Desmond
6. Tom Gorzelanny
7. Gio Gonzalez
8. Adam LaRoche
9. Tyler Clippard
10. Ryan Zimmerman

Okay, nothing too surprising, just a bunch of baseball players and Death. We do love death. Can’t get enough of it. Death is someĀ funny shit. Continue reading

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Morse Activated, Everyone Forgets How To Translate It

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Now having to focus on baseball again, Morse will have to take a break from goaltending for the Canucks.

The Beast is here. No, not Kelsey Grammer. Mike Morse. Morse was activated from the DL today and will make his season debut tonight vs. the Braves. To make room for Morse, Corey Brown was sent down to AAA in a move that saddens nobody.

Morse’s return gives us an extra power bat that we have been missing ever since Werth went down. It also gives us a starting everyday left fielder, bumping Lombardozzi from a role he was getting used to. While the Lombar Puncture was doing well in the leadoff spot, I’m sure we’ll find someone to fill that role. Now that Morse is back our lineup is much better, so the leadoff spot isn’t as much of a concern to me.

Now, let’s look at the Nationals starting lineup for tonight. Batting first, Danny Espinosa.

MORSE WHY DID YOU HAVE TO HEAL?!?!?!

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