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Johan-nes Bombs: Santana Composes Very Flat Work

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Morse just loves the smell of his finger. …I don’t want to know where it’s been. (Photo by Patrick McDermott/Getty Images)

Final Score: Nationals 6, Mets 4.

Dame of the Game:

Mike Morse: 1-4, 1 R, 1 HR, 4 RBI. The horse had just one hit. But does this mean he had a bad performance? Neigh!

Shame of the Game:

Johan Santana: Loss, 5 IP, 7 H, 6 ER, 4 K. Yo Han, maybe focus a bit more on quality pitching and a bit less on smuggling goods throughout space. Although it is very important for baseball players to learn a profession to use for after retirement. Scratch what I just said.

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Mike Morse and Johan Santana have taken two different paths back from injury; Morse has taken the path of success, while Johan has taken the path of playing for the Mets. His supporting cast aside, Johan has done poorly on his own, notably going 0-5 with a 15.63 ERA in his last five starts. When asked what was causing these problems, Johan just kept claiming that he thought it was Opposite Day. This wouldn’t usually work, but considering that most people running things in baseball have the mental capacity of a five year old, everyone seemed fine with letting Johan continue to pitch.

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