Tag Archives: homosexuality

Nats Dodge Losing Again Thanks to Rain


The grounds crew realizes they need to break out a cleaner tarp, after seeing that someone made a mess on this one.

Final Score: Nationals –, Dodgers –.

Dame of the Game:

Zeus. The Gods on Mount Olympus did not enjoy the Nats’ downward spiral, and decided to keep the Dodgers from adding to it. I always knew Zeus would be likely to side with Washington, considering him and Davey Johnson grew up together.

Shame of the Game:

My pants. They are soaked, and it is uncomfortable.


What a game. Definitely the best game for the Nats in a few days. I mean the pitching was perfect, not a single hit or walk allowed! The offense didn’t really put up good numbers, but that’s something I’ve come to expect with this team. This was the type of game the Nats needed to get back on track after being swept by the Braves. A nice, solid, non-loss.

Some aren’t content with just calling this a no contest however, and have scheduled a straight doubleheader at 4 PM/7 PM tomorrow night. There are concerns about doing a straight doubleheader, with that much action without a break potentially causing a great deal of stress to the players. But right now there’s no way a homosexual doubleheader would be proposed in Washington. It’s too much of a divisive issue that is especially hard to find universal support for during an election year.

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This Actually Exists

This video of four members of the Nationals bullpen reading passages from Fifty Shades of Grey is funnier than anything I could possibly say about it. Baseball players need to spend more of their time doing things like this.

It would only be slightly more perfect if it were Clippard and Drew Storen staring longingly at each other. Oh well. I guess they have to save that for a more private setting.

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Miami’s Vice: Not Scoring Runs

Bryce Harper and Steve Lombardozzi really wanted people to know that they do NOT enjoy touching each other. The ladies doth protest too much, methinks. (AP Photo/Alan Diaz)

Final Score: Nationals 4, Marlins 0

Dame of the Game:

Stephen Strasburg: 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 H, BB, 7 K; 1-1, R, BB. The last time I took a quick look at Strasburg’s hitting, he was rather absurdly 4th in the league in OPS for people with at least his number of plate appearances. Just thought I’d give you a quick update: he has now moved up to 3rd in all of baseball. Figured you’d want your day to be a little more confusing.

Shame of the Game:

Ricky Nolasco: 5.1 IP, 4 ER, 6 H, 2 BB, 2 K. I don’t know this for sure, but I’m gonna guess that Ricky’s last name is a shortened version of an old family company called ‘N Ol’ Ass, Co. Which was probably not successful. Like this start.


Sunday was Star Wars day at Marlins Park, which included your average Star Wars day festivities like Darth Vadar throwing out the first pitch. But if the Marlins were trying to be the Rebel Alliance, then this battle was more Hoth than Endor. Worse than that, even–Stephen Strasburg and the Nats bullpen didn’t let the Marlins take down one single AT-AT in the 4-0 shutout. Hopefully, this resulted in Ozzie Guillen being frozen in carbonite after the game.

Why am I so keen on seeing Guillen in a perpetual state of terror, mouth agape but no words able to emerge? On Sunday, he directed his particular brand of bad-word-ridden, borderline-psychotic nonsense at the Nationals, specifically one Bryce Harper. Apparently, Guillen decided that Harper had applied pine tar slightly too far up his bat and notified the umpires, who told Harper to change bats. Then, Guillen began complaining about “something” that Harper did with his bat the next time he was up, but he “didn’t want to tell” us what it was. I guess there are several possibilities: Continue reading

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Jackson Sends Reds Away In a Trail of Tears

Edwin Jackson remembered in the middle of this pitch that he had a big bowl of juicy cherries waiting for him when he got home.

Final Score: Nationals 4, Reds 1

Dame of the Game:

Edwin Jackson: 9 IP, 1 ER, 2 H, 1 BB, 9 K. It’s been a very long time since the Dame of the Game has been someone who is not a member of the Nationals’ starting rotation. There are three reasons for this. 1) The Nats starting rotation has been ridiculous. 2) The Nats offense has been mediocre. 3) The Nats starting pitchers have been bribing us with signed, game-used jockstraps to make sure that they all win Dame of the Game. Offense and bullpen, can you top that?

Shame of the Game:

Ian Desmond: 0-5, K, 4 LOB. It’s about time. Get ready for a lot more of these.

The Jacksonian Era in Washington has officially begun. Uh, begun again. There were just over 175 years between the day that Andrew Jackson left the White House and the day that Edwin Jackson pitched a complete game two-hitter in his first start at Nationals Park, but at long last the most important person in the nation’s capital is a Jackson. And unlike last time, it’s totally acceptable for that person to be black.  Continue reading

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2012 Nationals Player Profile: Tyler Moore


He's gonna make it after all.

“The Tyler Moore Show”, as some call it, has had a sweeping impact on the baseball. It’s all about a 25 year old single man who moved to Washington with humble goals, that ended up getting the chance of a lifetime.

It’s really one of the first cases in baseball where we see a strong, independent, career-oriented player. He’s not looking for a woman to support him. Just a chance to make it on his own.

Moore originally applied to be the Nationals’ secretary, but was instead offered an associate producer position. Producer of runs.

In 2010, Moore’s third season, issues arose such as equal pay for players with less experience, pre-game rituals, and homosexuality in baseball. The following year infidelity was focused on, as Moore seemed to be falling in love with Syracuse, despite his bind to Washington.

I can only assume that this year, in his fifth season, he will be jailed for contempt of court, when he refuses to tell a judge about where Davey Johnson hid Chien-Ming Wang’s son.

That’s not really what happened in The Mary Tyler Moore show, but I really think that Davey Johnson is thinking about it.

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