In honor of Zach Duke Week here at the Zimmerman(n) Telegram, we present to you the final 2012 Nationals Player Profile of 2012: the Dukester himself.
Brrr-brrrr-brrrr-BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (a trumpet heralds the arrival of Zack Duke, Duke of Zachs)
Court Master: Welcome, one and all, to the court of the Duke of Zachs. The Duke will hear all of your petitions today. Know that the righteous will be treated with fairness and generosity, but the deceivers will receive their due punishment.
The first petitioner may step forward.