Storen watching today's action. He won't take the ball until Johnson says "OK." He's a very well trained man.
(AP Photo/Evan Vucci)
Final Score: Nationals 2, Marlins 0.
Dame of the Game:
CO-WINNERS! OH MY GOD CO-WINNERS! It was just too hard to pick today so we’re pulling a little league award ceremony move and giving a bunch of people trophies.
Ross Detwiler: 6 IP, 3 H, 1 BB, 7 K, 0 R. The Rottwiler is clearly trained very poorly because he shat all over the Marlins players today. While dog shit is often frowned upon, the Nationals quite appreciated it today. Detwiler was given a big steak, had his belly rubbed by Mike Rizzo, and was presented with a bunch of female dogs to hump as he pleased. Things got awkward…
Rick Ankiel: 3-3, 2 R, 1 HR, 1 2B, 1 RBI. Ankiel was the only good thing about the offense today, nearly single handedly helping the team to victory. His “bat” “came” in handy early, as “The Excessive Masturbator” jacked one out. He also had a celebratory masturbation session after the game.
Shame of the Game:
The Nationals Offense Minus Rick Ankiel: 1-25, 1 BB, 1 RBI, 8 K. Carlos Zambrano manhandled this team worse than his own career, throwing 7 perfect innings to all those who weren’t named Ankiel. To those who were named Ankiel, Zambrano threw a nice exclusive get together with an open bar. How nice of him.
Let’s look at today’s game and say what was good about it.
- The Starting Pitching
- The Bullpen
Let’s look at today’s game and say what was bad about it.
Let’s look at the two “let’s look ats” above this “let’s look at” and say how many games it could apply to this season.