Tag Archives: Justin Verlander

How the Nationals Did in the All-Star Game

Strasburg laughs when Verlander is announced as the All-Star starter.

The National League has won the All-Star Game by a score of 8-0. It was the most exciting All-Star game since never. It was very uninteresting. But despite this lack of entertainment, three of the Nationals star players made their Nationals All-Star debuts; Stephen Strasburg, Gio Gonzalez and Bryce Harper. Ian Desmond was made an All-Star as well, but was kept far away from the stadium for the fear that he would try to engage teammates in polite conversation. Few wanted that.

So how did each of the Nationals do in the game?

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Phillies Bluntly Smoked by Gio: Nats Win by a Margin, Thin

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“Is that a lucky penny!?!?!?” (AP Photo/Matt Slocum)

Final Score: Nationals 2, Phillies 1.

Dame of the Game:

Gio Gonzalez: Win, 6 IP, 3 H, 3 BB, 0 R, 9 K. With tonight’s performance, Gio takes over the league lead with 69 strikeouts. Ha. Justin Verlander is in second with 68. Ha. (For those of you who don’t know, a 68 is a sexual act done primarily in Slovenia, where the man places his foot in a bowl of broth and smiles while the woman glares and condemns him.)

Shame of the Game:

Henry Rodriguez: .1 IP, 1 H, 1 BB, 1 ER, 2 WP. Wild Thing…you make my heart sting…you make everything…horrifying.

There’s no better way to break in a new ballpark than with a win. That’s just what the Nats did today by taking the first game in Nationals Park North. Today was the first Nationals-Phillies game in Philadelphia where I felt comfortable enough in our team to openly mock the opponent, as opposed to crying in a heap in the corner while Ryan Howard does horrible things. I feel that many fans feel the same way, so let’s bring our voice up to Philadelphia. Let’s turn the Phillies mockery of us on them and claim their park as our own. Huh, what’s that? Oh it is in Philadelphia, that’s a good point. On second though, let’s just let them have it. It’s probably flooded with vomit, cheese whiz, and a great deal of insecurities anyway.

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