Tag Archives: Lindsay Lohan

Nationals Sign Dan Haren

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Taken moments after a good hand lick.

There are benefits and downsides to sleeping late. On the plus side I feel more rested, I let my sore muscles recuperate, and I spend less time awake still unable to escape the horrible thoughts of game 5 of the NLDS. The horror.

But on the downside people tend to have the nerve to move on with the world while I’m unaware of what’s going on. This morning I woke up to some news that was already hours old. That news is of course that the Nationals have signed Dan Haren to a 1 year, 13 million dollar contract, pending a physical. What am I supposed to do now? It’s hard to draw interest to a story like this when so many have already been written. I need something to attract people. Maybe a few key words will draw a new crowd in, some popular terms that many people search. I’ll just toss a few right in here:

Obama, boobs, Lindsay Lohan, Facebook, colonoscopies, alien mud men, fiscal cliff, The Hobbit, Christmas, Bryce Harper penis (according to our blog’s analytics that is a very popular search), and juice boxes.

Hopefully that gets a new crowd of people to stumble upon this story.

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Happy (Is that possible anymore?) Birthday Bryce Harper

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Still not legal.

There will be no more teenagers hanging around the Nationals clubhouse. Unless we make a trade with the Indians that brings Terry Francona to us in some capacity. Bryce Harper turned 20 years old today. He must be thrilled that the Nationals were eliminated a few days ago. I mean, who wants to spend their birthday working? Now he can go out and have some fun!

Lets hope that this teen idol grows up well, better than the many teen stars who aged poorly. It would be a shame to see him go the way of a Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears. Although Britney actually has some good things to offer him, like that shaved head look. It’d be a lot better on him than the weird mullet thing he had this year.

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