Tag Archives: Marco Scutaro

Mile Low Showing: Trip Out West Gets Off To a Rockie Start (LOL)

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“Come on Jesus, just lie down and look at the clouds with me!” (Photo by Justin Edmonds/Getty Images)

Final Score: Rockies 4, Nationals 2.

Dame of the Game:

Jesus Flores: 3-4, 2 R, 1 2B. High altitudes clearly work well for Jesus. Either that or playing in a ballpark named after a beer. So there are two things to consider. Either Flores has a similar physical makeup to Kenyan marathon runners and thus excels with less available air, or that he drank so much Coors that the urgent feeling of needing to pee coupled with the drunken mindset that made him forget how to use a bathroom made him play with an increased urgency all game. He sure doesn’t look like a Kenyan marathon runner.

Shame of the Game:

Danny Espinosa: 0-3, 2 HBP. Not only did Danny go hitless today, but he clearly broke some ancient religious law and was sentenced to being stoned. The Rockies didn’t have stones handy, but they just turned up the level in the humidor so the baseballs felt harder.

———-

Tonight, the first game of a 4-game series between the Nats and Rockies, had a story behind it that could be easily made into a movie. In fact…I think I’ll do just that. I’ll call it…

“Rockie.” The story of a rags to riches Nationals team, a team nobody expected to compete with the big guys the way they have. They find a tough opponent in the form of the heavyweight champion Rockies (who are only the champions at weighing a heavy amount because of Giambi’s giant gut). The Nationals have been trained and led by a relic of the past, Davey Johnson, a man who used to be a big deal in probably the 20s or something. Point is, he’s old, and nobody else thought he’d be of much value. But the Nats have proven everyone wrong by making it to this point.

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